Dying is never an easy thing to talk about, especially when it happens to a family member. From coping with grief to managing the funeral with all its complex logistical matters, the loss of a loved one can be a truly trying time.
With that in mind, here are some things everyone, regardless of background, should know, and how you can be prepared in the event of a death in the family. These thoughts are based on the writer’s own experience.
What you should know
• If an individual passes away at home, a police report needs to be made before the death certificate is issued.
• Source for a funeral-services provider and they will take care of the rest. If you don’t know where to start, ask friends and relatives for contacts and pricing.
• It’s a sad reality that funerals are expensive. If there was a hospital stay, these bills will need to be covered too, on top of burial or cremation expenses.
• Your birth certificate is important, so make sure you have it (and copies) on hand. You will be asked many times to produce it as proof of relationship.
• Hard-copy insurance policies are also crucial, especially those that were applied for before online insurance portals existed. When you go to the insurer for a life-insurance claim, they might need you to produce the actual policies.
• If there is a will, contact your lawyer to apply for the Grant of Probate. This will allow the executor to act on behalf of the deceased. This document is necessary for change of ownership of property, vehicle, and monetary assets.
• Also crucial for the execution of the will is a full list of assets owned by the deceased. If this list is not complete when the Grant of Probate is produced, the lawyer will need to submit an amendment to court, which delays the process further.
• Your lawyer may require the witness on the will to sign an affidavit. This may be an unfamiliar name (“Choo Mei Lee” on the will may actually be “Aunty Catherine” to you)! In unfortunate circumstances, the witness might already have passed on.
• The whole process generally takes time. Even if you contacted a lawyer soon after your family member’s passing, you might only get the court date four to five months later, and receive the Grant of Probate two to three months after that. And even if you began the process of transferring property ownership immediately, it could still take another six months.
• If your family member has given you access to their online banking accounts, you should still know their primary email-account details. To reset the password for certain online accounts, it may require verification from the primary email address.
• It is not uncommon to discover months, or even a year, after the passing that some bills are still being auto-debited from the deceased’s credit cards or bank accounts because they were charged bi-annually or annually.
• Be ready for “insensitive” requests by multiple parties to prove that the deceased is indeed deceased.
What you can do now
• Regardless of your age, write up your will and let your loved ones know where it is. Many young working adults don’t prepare one as they feel they don’t have many assets. But think about it – even if you only had RM1,000, wouldn’t you rather it gets passed on to your family, instead of to complete strangers?
• Provide the contact details of the witness(es) who signed your will. Maintain a list of assets and update it at least once a year. This includes any property, vehicles, bank accounts, your comic collection, etc.
• Check and update the nominees on your EPF, insurance policies, unit trusts, etc.
• Find your birth certificate! If you have really misplaced it, go to the national registration department (JPN) for a reprint.
• On that note, know where all important documents are kept: the will, original insurance policies, house title, vehicle registration card, fixed-deposit certificates, and so on.
• Review existing joint fixed-deposit accounts and make sure they are “either to sign” and not “both to sign”. To make it easier to manage your elderly parents’ or other family members’ accounts, make sure online banking has been set up.
• Find out which bills are auto-debited from bank accounts/credit cards. Also know where safe-deposit boxes and their keys are, and take note of their expiration and payment dates.
• Check with your state government if there are assistance programmes for funeral expenses.
• Finally, discuss these matters with your family members, and be sure to share your own plans and information with them. Questions to ask include:
- Where do you keep your important documents?
- Do we have a family lawyer?
- Where can I find your passwords?
- Do you have a will? Who is/are the witness(es)?
- If you are in a coma or have a serious injury, would you want to be resuscitated or put on life support?
- Do you want to be buried or cremated, and where?
- If you have purchased a burial plot, where is it, and has it been fully paid off?
These may be difficult topics to broach now, but having all this information in advance will lighten the burden should anything untoward happen to any of your loved ones or to yourself.
Sue-Ann Chia is an educator who believes cross-cultural experiences are vital for one’s personal development. She has a full life with one husband, many collectibles, good friends, a job she enjoys, and fun travel adventures.