Have you ever been in that situation where someone you just met pours out all their woes without you seeing it coming? A breakup, a case of harassment at work, even a bereavement… some people feel the need to share with casual acquaintances – or even complete strangers – their negative emotions linked to a traumatic event.
For the other person, this type of avowal can quickly become oppressive, even distressing, if they haven’t given their consent to engage in this kind of conversation. This is called “trauma dumping”.
It’s also often referred to as “venting” in everyday parlance. But the term “trauma dumping”, used by psychologists, refers to one-way conversation in which someone unloads their negative emotions and/or experiences to another, without ensuring the other person is willing to listen attentively or even passively.
“When we bring up traumas with someone who is not prepared or professionally trained, we risk that they may act or react in a way that further triggers the speaker and unknowingly reinforces the trauma they experienced,” says Billie Katz, assistant professor of psychiatry at the Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai, New York.
As you read this, you may be wondering if you yourself have had this tendency to trauma dump. In truth, everyone has been both victim and perpetrator of trauma dumping, especially in this day and age when people are encouraged to break taboos surrounding mental health and freely express feelings.
Considering the current context and the crises that have been unfolding over the past few years – climate change, the pandemic, the Russian invasion of Ukraine, inflation, etc. – it’s no wonder many of us have been indulging in confessing some darker emotions.
How to avoid the dump
It’s natural to share about a painful event in your life to someone close to you. But be conscious of your confessions: it’s important to make sure the person you are opening up to is willing to be part of this conversation.
The discussion should be an exchange, not a constant flow of words that leaves no room for the other to speak. You should also ask yourself if you are doing it in the right place at the right time. Exposing your worries in the middle of a party risks ruining the atmosphere!
If you’re going through a difficult time and feel the need to talk about it, or even vent, it is advisable to see a specialist. “A therapist is the best option, as that person is trained to listen attentively and help you process the emotions,” US psychiatrist Tracy Marks says.
“If you unload the bulk of your burdens onto your therapist, you won’t need your friends as much to talk about your negative experiences.”
And if the shrink’s office isn’t your cup of tea, putting your emotions on paper by writing regularly – in a journal, for example, can also be beneficial.
This is not the only type of emergent social interaction that draws on the idea of “dumping” – one of the major dating trends of 2023 is known as “eco-dumping”.
But in this case, it’s about dumping someone because you think they don’t care enough about the planet – a trend particularly prevalent among Gen Z, who are looking for partners committed to the environment.