“Paying it forward” is the act of repaying kindness by being compassionate or generous to someone else in the future. The idea – which apparently began in ancient Greece – is about creating ripples of kindness that expand within the community and through time.
This might sound like it belongs in a fairytale, but there is hard science to support the benefits. The curious buzz that occurs when people are kind to others is called the “helper’s high”. The brain releases a cocktail of serotonin, dopamine, and oxytocin, collectively known as feel-good biochemicals, which results in euphoria.
Research confirms that humans feel the same pleasure responses irrespective of whether they are giving the donations or receiving the rewards.
There are other benefits, too. People who regularly engage in acts of kindness have 23% lower levels of cortisol and age more slowly, proving that caring for others really does reduce stress.
Volunteers report fewer aches and pains, and the Harvard Business School, in a global survey, found that people who are financially generous are also happier.
The concept of paying it forward has, in fact, become a global initiative, with Pay It Forward Day celebrated on April 28. It is a reminder that small acts, when multiplied by millions of people, can literally change the world.
This year, over 80 countries including Australia, Malaysia, Singapore, and the United Kingdom, participated, pledging to inspire 10 million acts of kindness around the world.
Compassion and hypnotherapy
Sadly, for those who are feeling low or depressed, it can be hard to feel compassionate. Thankfully, simple mental exercises or hypnosis sessions can help people regain a sense of fulfilment.
Just entering the state of hypnosis reduces unwanted tension. Mental clarity follows hypnotic relaxation, and people start to see things in their true perspective.
The next step involves giving oneself positive suggestions through self-hypnosis, which only takes one or two sessions to learn.
Once you are acquainted with self-compassion, you are then encouraged to reflect on how you feel about loved ones. A little more coaching and you are free to mentally direct this same positive intent towards someone or a situation with which you may have conflict.
Clinical hypnotherapy sessions have a positive effect on the therapist, too. Those who take up clinical-hypnosis courses have a desire to help themselves and others by learning skills that are easy to share with the community, creating natural opportunities to pay it forward.
The ‘muscle’ of kindness
Compassion is like a physical or academic skill. Every time you envision doing or actively do something for someone else, it stretches the muscle a little bit more.
Practice creates an instinctual response reflected by behaviour and the workings of the brain. Magnetic imaging scans show a progressive increase in activity in the inferior parietal cortex, dorsolateral prefrontal cortex, and other brain regions involved with empathy, understanding, emotion regulation, and positive feelings.
So do something generous at home, in the workplace, or in your community. It could be big and special, or it could be as simple as a smile or a thank you, helping a coworker, or leaving a bigger-than-usual tip for a server.
Remember: what you say and do matters, and ultimately the person who pays an act of kindness forward grows as much as the one who receives it.
Sheila Menon is the Principal of the London College of Clinical Hypnosis (LCCH) in Asia and Australia, and the CEO of the LSCCH Therapy Centre.