Helen (not her real name) knows exactly who she got genital herpes from: this cute guy from out of state with whom she thought she was building a relationship.

Less than a week later, she had her first outbreak. Initially, she had no idea what it was: when she took a mirror to it, it looked like an ingrown hair gone awry – a painful blister.

Her doctor said he would have to take samples first, but he thought it was herpes. She didn’t even know what this sexually transmitted infection was, but now she would be living with it for the rest of her life.

Helen felt ashamed to have an STI that does not go away. She couldn’t stop beating herself up for being so careless. The guy denied having symptoms, but she wouldn’t have known what to look for anyway.

She remembers not truly believing him when he said he didn’t have it. Now she is pretty sure he’d known, as he’d seemed way too calm when she’d asked.

Herpes results from infection with the herpes simplex virus (HSV), which causes sores or blisters to form in or around the mouth or genitals, as well as other symptoms.

There are two types of viruses: HSV-1 causes oral herpes, which usually affects the mouth and surrounding skin; while HSV-2 causes genital herpes, which is usually sexually transmitted.

The first year, Helen’s outbreaks occurred frequently. She didn’t know how to control them and was upset by the discomfort. She remembers crying on her best friend’s shoulder.

Her doctor prescribed a course of antiviral medication and also advised her on how to reduce the risk of outbreaks. This included getting more sleep and not being stressed out all the time.

Having finished that course of treatment, she rarely needs to take any more medication.

Helen usually knows when a flare-up is coming. The area tingles and is extra-sensitive. It generally happens when she is close to having her period.

She spoke openly about it with trusted friends, which was good because she found others in the same boat. The support group she went to also helped by advising her to be confident when starting a new relationship, and to tell the person her status from the beginning.

Dating was difficult at first, but she has learnt that honesty really is the best policy and hasn’t experienced a rejection since.

Helen has been with her partner for almost three years now. She told him about it, as it was something he needed to be aware of so he could do his research, ask the right questions, and decide for himself how he felt about their relationship.

He recently proposed, and she said yes.

Helen is sharing her story to give hope to others that they can lead normal lives with herpes if they are honest and confident with their partners.

She also advises people to take precautions and use barrier contraceptives such as condoms to reduce the risk of getting infected, especially if you engage in relations with people you do not know well.

TELEME Healing Life Stories is a collection of inspirational stories of how ordinary people triumph over their health conditions and recover to lead a healthier life. Email [email protected] to share your story.

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