Friends of the late Gwee Jo-Ee now have greater awareness on what is needed to support those struggling with mental health issues, and are spreading the message.

As part of the “Courage in the Current” (CitC) initiative, they paid tribute to Gwee with a 10km swim in about five hours from Lang Tengah to Pulau Redang in Terengganu.

Their effort on Aug 30 raised over RM102,000 for Befrienders Kuala Lumpur, as Gwee had wanted to do when she was alive.

Gwee, who had bipolar type-2, had conceived the idea for a solo swim to raise funds for suicide prevention awareness. She loved the ocean and was a scuba diver, freediver and trained lifeguard.

A then suicide survivor who had also lost a close friend to suicide, she knew that open conversations on the subject were necessary for healing, and wanted to break the stigma and silence.

Sadly, Gwee died by suicide in November at age 38. Her final wish was for her friends to complete her mission.

As part of CitC’s campaign, swimmers and support crew were required to attend training by Befrienders KL on how to interact with those with depression and suicidal thoughts.

“The training humbled me; working in the corporate world, we tell each other to ‘man up’ when facing problems. Everyone has their own story, and we need empathy,” said swimmer Kenneth Chang.

Stigma over the subject is so entrenched in society that another participant, Jeffrey Low, said he always thought it was better to avoid the issue, for fear that speaking about it would plant further ideas in a depressed person.

“I’ve learnt it is OK to ask someone who is depressed if they have such thoughts and to talk about it. Asking creates an opening, a chance for the person to share things they are keeping inside. It could save their life.”

Low, who had trained alongside Gwee, said asking a simple “are you OK?” should be followed by listening without judgement.

“There is a reason why someone behaves or feels the way they do. Give them the space to share their perspective, even if we don’t fully understand,” he added.

CitC organising committee member Wong Pui Yan, meanwhile, said the biggest lesson for her is the fact that suicide survivors are at higher risk of making a repeat attempt.

“This is a huge red flag, as I saw in Jo-Ee’s case. She had support from friends and family, as well as treatment. When she was discharged from hospital, I felt relieved.

“But I now know this was a misconception. Getting discharged did not mean she was OK.”

The training also helped Wong deal with lingering questions on why Gwee still chose to leave life despite all the support she received.

“I’ve learnt that ambivalence is part of this illness. A person can be functional, planning for future activities, yet at the same time face deep hopelessness. It is hard to fully understand.

“The point is to keep the conversation going and let them know we are there for them.”

CitC co-event director Shauqie Aziz, who was Gwee’s coach and close friend, stressed the importance of community in lending courage to a struggling individual.

“Jo-Ee was brave to speak publicly about her condition, but what probably helped her was that she had a community first. It starts with having a group of people you feel safe enough with.”

Gwee’s family said they were touched by the teamwork of her swim squad in organising the CitC event, as well as an earlier Befrienders fundraiser and public mental health talk.

“The love of her friends compels us to speak up and share, so that others suffering can gain courage to speak as well,” said Gwee’s brother Kelvin, who was present for the swim with his parents.

In 2023, the statistics department recorded 1,087 deaths by suicide, or about three deaths daily, following 1,142 cases in 2021 and 981 in 2022.

Non-profit mental health advocacy group Relate Malaysia, however, believes official records do not reflect the actual number of cases due to misclassification by the authorities, and underreporting due to shame.

Follow Courage in the Current on Facebook and Instagram.

If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health issues, please seek help. Talk to someone you trust or call Befrienders at 03-7627 2929.

Deborah Loh is a freelance writer.