For Chan, this light-hearted moment perfectly captured the spirit of the retreat, the first of its kind in Malaysia. Held in January, it was a thoughtful reimagining of what life with dementia could be.
The retreat, a year in the making, was Chan’s response to the isolation and stigma faced by people with dementia and their families.
“We see them as a disease, not as human beings,” Chan, 53, explained. “Everything about dementia is scary and negative. But they are not just statistics – they are our friends, parents, spouses. They are part of us.”
Chan is no stranger to helping those with dementia. In 2023, she founded the BSC Eldercare Centre in Butterworth, a daycare centre that provides specialised care and engagement for the elderly.
Her centre serves as a safe space for families seeking support in managing dementia and aged care, a mission that inspired her to create this retreat.
Over two days at a Penang beach resort, 30 participants – people with dementia, their families, and volunteers – came together for a weekend of connection, joy, and healing.
Activities such as Totsu, a Japanese movement-based communication method, Tibetan singing bowls, beach meditation, and breathing exercises provided structure.
But the true magic lay in the unplanned moments of laughter, silliness, and vulnerability.
“In Malaysia, support for dementia care is minimal,” Chan shared. “Most services revolve around home care or nursing homes, but they’re not dementia-specific. Families feel isolated, unsupported, and overwhelmed.”
The retreat offered a lifeline – not just a respite, but a chance to see loved ones in a new light.
“One family told me they hadn’t seen their parents laugh like that in years,” Chan recounted. “At home, there’s always tension – the stress of caregiving, the stigma, the constant worry. Here, they could just be themselves, relax.”
One of the retreat’s most striking aspects was its focus on humanity over diagnosis. “We didn’t correct anyone,” Chan said. “If someone looked at a banana and thought it was a frog, we just went with it. There was no right or wrong. We spilled coffee, laughed, cried, and simply existed.”
For family members, it was a rare chance to pause and breathe.
Sarahjoy, 58, who attended with her 84-year-old mother and 83-year-old aunt, shared: “I’m extremely grateful for this experience. My mother and aunt felt engaged, cared for, and uplifted.”
Her mother enjoyed the mental stimulation, while her aunt cherished the social connection. “It brings me so much joy to see the laughter and happiness in these women and all the other elderly participants.”
Celine, 63, who joined with her 92-year-old mother, Ah Bee, echoed this sentiment. “Together, we’ve created a truly unforgettable experience – for both caregivers and our loved ones. I believe remnants of these memories will linger in their streams of consciousness, bringing them sparks of joy from time to time.”
The retreat also challenged common myths about dementia.
“The literature says people with dementia get agitated in unfamiliar places,” Chan said. “But that didn’t happen. They felt safe because we created a safe environment. Trust is everything.”
This sense of safety was evident in the hugs shared as the retreat came to an end. “In Malaysian culture, we don’t usually hug,” Chan said. “But by the end of the retreat, it was automatic. People just went around hugging each other. It was genuine, intimate, and healing.”
Chan hopes to expand the retreat model across Malaysia, working with partners to make it a regular event.
“This was an experiential learning journey for all of us,” she said. “I hope it inspires others to join this movement for a more humanistic approach to dementia care.
“It’s about seeing the person, not the pathology,” she emphasised. “Each person with dementia is unique, with their own life story. It’s important to look at the human being – the essence of the person.”
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