Relationships are never simple and often go through rough patches. One of the partners may decide to end the relationship – but not always directly.

In the dating world, this behaviour is known as “swerving”, and is characterised by one of the partners abruptly distancing themselves from the other person. This partner gradually disengages, investing less and less in the relationship.

For the other, this behaviour can lead to damaged self-esteem and feelings of abandonment.

Seeking.com dating expert Emma Hathorn describes this toxic dynamic as “a change in the communication patterns within a relationship”. At first, the partner shows great interest but, as swerving takes hold, their behaviour becomes incoherent, distant – even cold.

There may be several reasons for this change in attitude, including changing feelings, meeting another person, or personal issues such as fear of commitment.

Like with “delicate dumping” – another trending dating term that involves gradually pulling back from a relationship to make the other person initiate the break-up – swerving is one of the increasingly common forms of toxic traits in contemporary relationships.

But how can you tell if you’re being swerved? Some warning signs include a sudden change in attitude, increasing distance, lack of communication, emotional incompatibility, and an obvious lack of enthusiasm.

Other indicators include frequent cancellation of dates or plans made as a couple without explanation, or even the total desertion of the partner.

This cowardly tactic of not openly addressing doubts or the desire to end the relationship can seriously affect the other person’s self-esteem. The victim may feel disoriented and be left wondering what went wrong, Hathorn explains.

This drives the abandoned person into a spiral of questioning, wondering if they are responsible for their partner’s change in behaviour, leaving them in a state of emotional confusion and uncertainty.

However, swerving doesn’t necessarily mean a break-up is inevitable. A split can be avoided by taking a step back and engaging in open communication with your partner when these kinds of behaviours are identified.

So, if you spot these signs, start a conversation with your partner in a calm and thoughtful manner to determine what’s going on in your relationship.