Ever wondered whether you play the role of victim, persecutor, or rescuer in a relationship? Karpman’s Triangle, also known as the “Drama Triangle”, is a concept theorised by psychiatrist Stephen Karpman in 1968 that may be able to provide some answers.
This model is often used in transactional analysis to understand conflictual or dysfunctional dynamics among individuals.
Karpman describes the three roles people may unconsciously adopt: persecutor, victim and rescuer. This relational dynamic can manifest itself in interactions between colleagues, family members, or a romantic couple.
Each of these roles can be recognised through several characteristics. The persecutor often criticises or attacks another in the form of reproach. They may represent an authoritarian figure in your entourage, but it could also take the form of an institution (your work, for example).
The victim is someone who feels persecuted, helpless and defenceless, and is waiting to be saved. They are often emotionally dependent, and seek to escape their difficulties through outside intervention.
The rescuer intervenes to save the victim, even if this help has not been requested or is not necessary. They often seek to boost their self-esteem by creating a bond that sees the victim depend on them, and might even try to make their victim believe they can’t accomplish anything without the rescuer’s help.
If individuals fall into such a dynamic without awareness of these roles, they can get stuck in a toxic, dysfunctional cycle, hindering healthy communication and preventing real problem solving.
Some people systematically adopt one of these roles in their relationships, developing, for example, “rescuer syndrome”, or a tendency to constantly victimise themselves. Others go so far as to exert constant control over those around them.
This dynamic responds to deep-seated psychological issues: the persecutor may have an instinct for domination or control. Victims lack self-esteem and prefer to play this role rather than risk being perceived as persecutors. The rescuer seeks recognition as a benefactor, which may conceal manipulative, unhealthy motives.
Hypnotherapist Claire Jack te Psychology Today that “narcissists can move in and out of these roles, moving from the point of victim (“Dad was horrible to me, can you look after me?”) to persecutor (“Dad and have I made up, so you need to stop exaggerating”). And because narcissists derive their sense of validation externally, they will do all they can to draw people into their drama triangle.
“If you’re involved with a narcissist, chances are you’ve been sucked in without even realising it,” the expert adds.
Alternating roles in this way can have devastating effects on mental health, leading to chronic stress, depression, and even violence. To put an end to it, it’s important to first recognise the existence of the dynamic and identify the role we play in it.
Then, it’s crucial to break down the beliefs that led us to adopt these roles. These include thinking we can make others happy or unhappy, or believing that our happiness depends on others.
The third step is to spot incitations to enter into this dysfunctional dynamic and avoid them, notably through counter-manipulation tactics. It also helps to distance ourselves from the other participants in the triangle.
Finally, changing the way you communicate, by breaking free of the triangle and being more transparent about your emotions and interpretations, can help break the toxic triangle.