It’s no surprise that, as one grows up and gets a job or starts a family, one easily loses touch with old friends. You might not share the same social circle anymore, unlike back in school or university, or you might be constantly inundated with household and workplace responsibilities.
While this is natural and it’s OK to meet new friends, many of you might lament the thought of losing touch with your old connections.
If this is the case, there are always steps you can take to maintain contact with them. Here are five suggestions by FMT Lifestyle to help you keep the flame of friendship alive.
1. Make a choice
Back in school, it was easy to take for granted the proximity one shared with one’s friends. It’s an entirely different thing altogether once you enter adulthood and go on to work different jobs.
Don’t burn yourself out trying to keep up with the entirety of your friend group. Ask yourself, who among them would you want to remain friends with as you grow?
It’s not an easy question, but the truth is that not everyone in your circle from school or college has to remain a close contact. The reality for most working adults is that it’s necessary to identify the few and work from there
2. Make it a priority
Living 100km away from a good friend makes it difficult to plan regular meet-up sessions, especially if either or both of you have demanding jobs. Working with different schedules means organic communication will be that much harder, which is why you need to prioritise.
Be honest – even friends who live in the same vicinity will still find excuses not to meet, right? Hence, if you want someone to stay in your life, it’s essential to make time for them.
It could be as simple as texting them during your/their lunch break, or joining them on a grocery run.
3. Follow through
All right, so you’ve locked on to a few friends and made the effort to plan a gathering next month. Don’t run out of steam!
Make it a regular thing. It does not need to be a full-on dinner party; sometimes just grabbing coffee when either one of you is in town is enough to keep the communication going.
And yes, sometimes you might not feel like it. Life’s been difficult and you’re not in the mood to socialise. Do it anyway – your future self will be glad you did.
After all, being in the company of others – especially those who are willing to lend an ear – might be exactly what you need to boost your spirits.
4. Don’t put it off
That said, it can also be easy to get into ta cycle of avoidance. You haven’t been in touch in a while. You feel bad and worry about the awkwardness of explaining why you’ve been MIA. This causes you to continue to refrain from reaching out even though you miss them.
The best solution is to take the plunge and just make the call. Your friend may well be an introvert like you and is having the same thoughts.
Apologise to them for your absence and ask to hang out again. You’d be surprised by how many of them would jump at the chance to reconnect.
5. Use social media
Let’s face it, technology and the internet make it easy to reach out to friends for free (which is why one of the first social media platforms was called Friendster – who remembers this?!).
You can quickly plan a meet-up session on Facebook, tag your friend in an Instagram post that reminds you of them, or send them a message on WhatsApp just to check in.
Choose a means of communication that best suits you, remembering that what works for you might not work as well with your friends.
So, does this article make you think of a certain friend from back in the day whom you miss? Hey, it’s World Friendship Day tomorrow, so why not text or call them for a catch-up?