Azwani was among the 31 who perished at the campsite on Father’s Organic Farm following the deadly Batang Kali landslide on Dec 16.

Not a day goes by without Esah being overwhelmed by memories of her firstborn, be it the sight of her clothes in the cupboard, or her motorcycle parked outside the house.

The 54-year-old housewife said her eldest daughter, who worked as a canteen operator, was always the most excited about Hari Raya and would busy herself with preparations.

“Azwani was the life of the party,” she told FMT recently, with a smile belying her grief. “Raya will feel empty now.”

Esah said she and Azwani would travel home to Pasir Puteh, Kelantan, and their extended family there would always look forward to their return.

“She was the most jovial and the busiest among us. She would prepare the meals and serve the guests who come to the house after Raya prayers.”

What makes it even harder is the fact that her 31-year old daughter had prepared to remain single just so she could look after her mother.

“She told me once, ‘If I get hitched, who would take care of you?'” Esah recalled tearfully.

Azwani’s youngest sister, Nurhazita, shared that a week before her death, Azwani had lamented to a cousin about how much she missed their father, who had passed away in May.

It was something she had never once told her immediate family, Nurhazita added, even though “those around her, like her friends, noticed she was melancholy”.

For Nurhazita, Azwani had been more than just an older sister. She considered her to be a responsible sibling who had made huge sacrifices for the family.

“She helped me out when I was single and jobless,” Nurhazita explained. “Azwani had no qualms about lending me money and was never calculative.

“Now that she is no longer with us, I wonder if I can really take good care of my mother the way she would have. But I will give it my best in memory of Azwani.”