Likeability is, by definition, intangible, yet fluid in nature. It is an indefinable but important quality.

Whether you like someone may determine your reaction when, for example, one watches a televised event where Barack Obama sits near Donald Trump.

Or, if social observers rate a hypothetical meeting between Kim Kardashian and the late Princess Diana.

For more down-to-earth mortals, perhaps, the question of likeability pops up only when one is asked to accept or decline friend requests on social media.

The matter of whether a person likes another or even if a person likes you is rarely given much thought, unless a work promotion, a competition, a beauty pageant or even hosting a dinner party, is involved.

But why should anyone be concerned about being liked?

Being liked is big business

Likeability is so big, in fact, that one of the most successful books, Dale Carnegie’s ‘How To Win Friends and Influence People’, published in 1963, has sold 30 million copies worldwide.

It sits at number 19 on the list of Time’s 100 most influential books of all-time.

And in business, being liked gives a worker the advantage.

According to a 2013 published study in management decision, likeability – or social clout, as some employers like to call it – plays a significant role when pay raises and promotions are considered and handed out.

Likeable people are also more likely to be hired, say studies and reports. Additionally, they are likely to get useful information when it’s needed, and surprisingly, have their mistakes forgiven.

A study by the University of Massachusetts, on the other hand, went as far as to determine that the likeability of a person presenting new ideas is more likely to be accepted by management – even if the presenter lacks solid evidence to back such recommendations.

But likeability extends beyond high school or the workplace.

Liking one another has been an essential part of humans forming groups and tribes since the dawn of mankind, which, ultimately, goes far in collaboration for important activities such as food-gathering, hunting, caring for the young and vulnerable.

All of these helped ensure the survival of the species.

In a more contemporary context, more recent studies have also asserted that likeability doesn’t always come across in video-conferencing, for example, when a candidate is to be hired.

Interestingly, recruiters are only able to pick up on authenticity and trustworthiness better in person than via video, where over-acting or ‘trying too hard’ may impede a candidate’s chances.

Likeable traits and qualities

To venture further into this discussion, FMT asked several Malaysians to share what they find likeable in a person.

Marketing communications manager Shelly Mohammed, 49, says, “I like people who are approachable and pleasant, active listeners who do it not just to pass the time, and those who do not hold preconceived notions about others and judge them.”

She also lists honesty and respect for others as traits and qualities she likes in a person, as well as the ability to admit one’s mistakes, be straightforward without pretences while not trying too hard to impress anyone.

For Mei-Ling Ludi, who works at the Swiss Malaysian Chamber of Commerce, a “positive, happy person who is adaptable and also respectful of various cultures” tops her list of likeable qualities in a person.

Says the mother of two, “Of course there are other factors such as whether they are socially-adaptable but more often than not, I go by my gut instinct that tells me whether I’m going to like a person I meet.”

For others, likeability goes far deeper.

Thirty-something media manager Sheralyn Lisa Subramaniam is vocal about what she does not like in a person.

“I’ve noticed that sometimes people are liked for the wrong reasons,” she states before elaborating, “They’re sometimes liked because they suck up to others, are show-offs, or because they’re glamorous or have money or power.”

She likes people who are, in her words, “humble, honest, courteous, empathetic, kind, helpful, a solution provider and not a trouble-maker.”

Those who don’t impose their own beliefs on others but are willing to just share knowledge and accept others’ views with an open mind also appeal to Lisa.

And what about physical attributes such as bad body odour, bad breath or an unkempt appearance – would these influence someone’s likeability?

She responds succinctly, “A bad attitude stinks more than physical odour.”