By Hazrina Zainul Azizdin
There have been many thoughts and articles on mental health and depression following the recent deaths of Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain. No matter how frequently we see this happen, it is still shocking to hear of celebrities taking their own lives despite “having it all”. Many have taken to social and traditional media to express their grief at losing their favourite icons, while other have talked about the two from psychological, social, religious, personal and legal perspectives.
In a way, their tragic deaths, as with most celebrity suicides, have a silver lining: they have restarted conversations about mental health, family and community support as well as policies and mechanisms that may or may not be in place to help people struggling with such conditions.
To a certain extent, it is encouraging that there is less stigma attached to depression and mental illness compared to even a decade ago, and that suicide is no longer a taboo topic relegated to hushed back-room conversations. It is here, front and centre, and we can talk about it.
Having said that, however, it is still disheartening to observe the lack of understanding, let alone empathy, by certain segments of the community when it comes to such matters. Flippantly dismissive comments are still bandied around with nary a thought to those struggling with such conditions and how, given their vulnerable state of mind, this might be the very thing that pushes them over the edge.
“Oh, if only he had turned to God and prayed harder, he wouldn’t have done that.”
“Suicide is so against our religion. She is definitely doomed to hell for all of eternity now.”
“Depressed people are such wimps. They should just suck it up like the rest of us.”
This could not be further from the truth. You don’t have to look further than the case of the Muslim gentleman who jumped to his death in Mecca yesterday, taking his life in the holiest place on earth among those performing acts of piety during the most spiritual month of the Islamic calendar.
Depression, anxiety, bipolar conditions, schizophrenia and the entire spectrum of mental disorders are like any disease, barring the physical and tangible displays of such conditions. The World Health Organisation reported that globally, more than 300 million people of all ages suffer from depression. Closer to home, it is said that 29.2%, or 4.2 million Malaysians above the age of 16 years, suffer from the same.
Like it or not, depression is a common disease, and suicide is its most severe manifestation. While it is not a disease any of us would want, it is something that you may inadvertently find yourself inflicted with, due to an unfortunate gene “lottery” (research has indicated that people with a family history of mental illness have a higher risk of developing depression) or precipitating circumstances beyond your control (research has also shown that people who have gone through adverse life events are more likely to develop depression).
Like any disease, mental illness in general and depression in particular requires proper intervention, diagnosis, treatment and family support to enable those afflicted to heal. Prayer and spiritual development are but a small part of the entire journey towards a cure, if at all. It is not the be all, end all and cure all like many would like you to believe. Years of research and data have proven this.
For those of you lucky enough to have been spared from this painfully debilitating condition, and can thus sit on your high horse and pass judgment, ask yourselves this: If the God you believe in is as merciful and compassionate to His subjects as you claim He is, and if you believe that we all return to the embrace of the Creator once we die, wouldn’t that mean that deeply troubled souls who take their own lives are just taking a slightly faster route back to the arms of God?
Since we were taught to believe that those who endure hardships through life on Earth will enjoy a better life in the hereafter, wouldn’t that mean that those who suffer through mental illness in this world have paid their dues and would have a better life in the afterlife? And surely, if God exists in the manner and form that we have ascribed to Him (being all-knowing, merciful, compassionate and forgiving), He would not set humans up to fail, giving us an extremely difficult condition to navigate, only to condemn us to eternal damnation when we falter.
Is God really that cruel? Or are we just misinterpreting religious scriptures to fit our myopic worldview? Is God really that cruel or is this just our convenient explanation for what happens to those whose struggles and coping mechanisms are different from ours? Is God really that cruel? Or are we?
Maybe, just maybe, a better way forward is to reframe the narrative and thus the solution. Maybe, just maybe, the answer lies in more than just “praying the depression and suicide away”. Maybe, just maybe, for once we can put religious arguments aside and focus on real-world solutions that could bring about actual results in this current life.
Maybe, just maybe, we could save a few lives today by showing more empathy and compassion towards our fellow men here on earth, as we expect of our Creator, for ourselves, in the hereafter.
Hazrina Zainul Azizdin is an FMT reader.
The views expressed are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of FMT.