“Sometimes it takes half a day just to get a picture,” Iman Wan Tuck Meng said matter-of-factly. “We have to wait for Adam to be in the mood to wear his Raya clothes, and by then, everyone else’s moods are all over the place.”
For Iman, a former music producer who once worked with some of Malaysia’s biggest stars, life used to be all about studio sessions and hit songs.
But for the past 17 years, his greatest role has been at home – as a full-time caregiver to his 24-year-old son, who has severe autism.
This also means Hari Raya in the household is different. No balik kampung, no open house – just quiet moments tailored to Adam’s needs.
“We used to go back to my wife’s kampung in Kuala Terengganu; but, as Adam got older, road trips became too challenging,” Iman, 59, shared with FMT Lifestyle. “I’ve been hurt in the car trying to calm him down.”
Eventually, they decided to celebrate at home, creating their own version of Raya. Through it all, Iman has made it his mission to share their story.
His Instagram page, “Adam’s Autism Family”, has over 565,000 followers, offering an honest glimpse into their lives.
“I want parents to know they’re not alone,” he said. “A lot of them have scars, too, taking care of their kids without any platform to talk to people. So, I want to be that person for them.”
Before fatherhood reshaped his world, Iman’s life revolved around music. He signed on new artistes, composed, and even wrote songs for the likes of Siti Nurhaliza, Dayang Nurfaizah and Amy Mastura.
But even back then, he was searching for meaning. Raised in a Taoist household, he was drawn to Christianity in his teens, and later discovered Islam through friendships in the Malay music scene.
He didn’t know then that his deep sense of faith would become his anchor years later.
Because as much as music shaped his early life, nothing prepared him for the lessons he would learn as Adam’s father. The reality of raising a child with severe autism unfolded slowly.
“There was a point where I hated my son,” Iman admitted. “Everything was ruined, and it threw my life upside down.”
But his faith helped him see that suffering is sometimes a blessing. “In order for me to embrace everything, I had to find a meaning and purpose so that I don’t fight it.”
Still, in those early years, isolation became a quiet companion. Road trips, social gatherings, even simple outings – everything revolved around Adam’s needs.
“We dropped out of the social scene, losing friends,” Iman shared.
Social media became a lifeline. As they shared glimpses of their daily lives online – Adam’s laughter, his struggles, his small victories – people took notice. Messages poured in.
“People tell me, ‘Whenever I’m down, I watch your videos and feel inspired. Please don’t stop.’”
That support became a source of strength. Knowing their story resonated with others reinforced Iman’s belief in embracing life’s challenges, especially during the holy month of Ramadan.
“As I grew older, Ramadan taught me that struggles make us grow and evolve into someone better, and I learnt to embrace hardship.”
With that mindset, Iman is approaching this Raya with renewed hope. “This is our first Raya in our new house. I plan to invite close friends over,” he shared, adding that Adam has made progress over the years.
“Adam has to learn to cope with his condition, and we will do whatever we can to help him.”
Just like their version of Raya, the family’s efforts to cope with an autistic loved one is a work in progress – built on patience, perseverence, and quiet triumphs along the way.