Exactly one year ago M Bavani was sitting with her husband S Jaiseelan at Movida nightclub in Puchong, all dressed up and excited to celebrate their second wedding anniversary.
After all, it was her idea to celebrate their wedding at Movida to rekindle the night with good memories.
When they arrived at the nightclub, they initially sat inside but after several minutes the couple decided to sit outside to enjoy the cool air.
It was the early morning hours of June 28 when some 20 patrons in the restaurant were watching the live telecast of the Euro2016 match between Italy and Spain.
At about 1.30am, the unthinkable happened.
The deafening explosion of a grenade ripped through the patio and then they were surrounded by acrid smoke and their clothes were also soaked in their own blood.
It happened so fast that she was stunned and shaken by the violence of the incident.
“I saw blood flowing from my fingers. I thought I had lost my fingers. But no, the blood was from my hand. But at that moment, I could just thank my blessings that my fingers were intact, and that we were alive,” she says while showing her scared right hand with 17 stitches.
She says there is a metal plate inserted into her hand to mend the fracture she had suffered due to the explosion.
“I suffered so much. My mother used to help me with the dressing. The pain was excruciating. Every two days, for about two hours, I used to scream in pain while the dressing was changed.”
The pain is still there, Bavani admits, both physically and mentally.
Putting her left hand on her forehead, she says her right arm is still weak, the pain increases at night or during the rainy season and her fingers are unable to have the proper grip and grab things as firmly as before.
“I had to retrain myself to use my left hand.”
The 33-year old housewife had to deal with stitches all over her body, and required assistance to go toilet, to bathe and eat for the first few weeks after the incident.
Wearing a t-shirt and shorts, the wounds are still visible on her legs and hands. Even though she is getting used to the scars, she is slightly cautious about wearing a saree.
“My waist is completely covered with scars,” she said, with a heavy sigh.
The doctors told her small particles of the grenade were still in her as well as in her husband, but these were slowly coming off, according to Bavani.
“Sometimes there will be a sharp pain in the body and when we press it out, tiny particles of the grenade come out.”
Husband suffers depression
Her husband’s right leg was bleeding profusely following the explosion and later doctors found a fracture on the same leg as well.
“His pants were soaking in blood. Both of us could not understand what was happening. We were in a daze. We thought someone was playing a nasty prank,” Bavani said.
Doctors also found a piece of shrapnel had pierced his neck and had barely missed his spine.
While in hospital, doctors realised that Jaiseelan had become hearing-impaired as a result of the explosion, diagnosing him as having lost 75% of his hearing.
According to Bavani, her husband could not hear clearly and the doctors could not tell if his hearing would ever recover.
After being discharged from hospital, he was put in a wheelchair to allow his legs to heal.
He, too initially needed help to go to toilet and to shower.
“I was so worried because he went into a depression. I was trying to cope with my pain and he was feeling helpless as he could not hear nor walk.
“But luckily he pushed himself to come out of it,” she said.
After six months of recovery, they are thankful his hearing is back to normal but three of his toes on the left leg are still numb.
Money problems
Not being able to work for six months, the couple were left with almost no savings.
She says a lot of money was spent on medical bills. The long-term hospitalisation and surgery bills amounted to more than RM20,000.
Each visit to the hospital for dressing and other medical assistance came up to RM2,000 for the both of them.
Even though they needed a maid to help them out, the prerequisite of an initial payment of RM10,000 to the maid agency caused them to change their mind.
Bavani said they needed the help of three older family members, namely her 84-year-old mother, her mother-in-law who suffers from arthritis and her aunty – to help them out with chores around the house as well as provide some assistance to them personally.
“The bills accumulated, for the housing loan, car loan, grocery and other bills.
“The agony of our suffering together with the financial burden was unbearable. We went through so much physical pain and mental anguish.”
Feeling the guilt
Bavani says the decision she made to go to Movida that night still troubles her.
“If only we went somewhere else. But Movida was the nearest to the house and it faces the road. No one would have guessed that there would be a bomb attack in Malaysia.
“This is not the US or Iraq where such events have taken place. But if only we could have gone elsewhere,” she said, her expression of regret showing the toll that one fateful decision has taken on her life.
She also said she wants to tattoo her hand which has stitches, in the hope that it would cover the scars so as not to be reminded of the incident and to help her move on.
Nowadays, she says she copes with the pain, guilt and anger through laughter.
“I laugh a lot more now. That is the only way to cope with my terrible experience and emotions. Anything can happen anytime.”
Two men, Jonius Ondie @Jahali, 24, and Imam Wahyuddin Karjono, 21, were sentenced to 25 years each in prison for carrying out the grenade attack at the nightclub in what the police had called the first act of terror in Malaysia by the Islamic State militant group.