Money is usually an afterthought in the search for marital compatibility as people tend to prioritise feelings.

But a lasting partnership transcends passion, loyalty, and devotion. Many a time, arguments boil down to money and irresponsible money management.

So, will you encounter financial trouble down the line with the person you’re currently dating?

Here are 10 signs that spell trouble.

1. Controls your financial actions

If your partner dictates how you save, spend and invest your money, you will end up being taken advantage of in the long term. So, take a stand and take charge.

How does your partner react to a financial disagreement? If the reaction is unreasonable anger or emotional blackmail like sulking or crying until you change your mind, run!

2. Does not contribute to costs

Is it fair for men to show benevolent sexism by taking charge and always paying for things? Does doing this reinforce the men-are-superior impression?

Would the woman be perceived as a gold-digger if she doesn’t contribute? Would a man feel emasculated if she does?

Such are the questions you and your partner must ask yourselves and each other because where you stand on financial gender equality is best cleared up early on.

Do however observe your partner’s behaviour after you’ve discussed your expectations.

3. Untruthful about money situations

Dishonesty about finances may vary from petty deceptions like hiding cash to huge lies like hiding debt, taking out big loans, not disclosing their income, hiding purchases, and concealing transactions or accounts.

The financial effects from these deceptions include disruptions to the budget or possible depletion of retirement assets.

Ask yourself, can you tolerate lies from your partner for life?

4. Unwilling to discuss personal finances

Once your relationship is firmly established, be cautious if your partner is elusive about financial issues.

Being reluctant, irritated, or angry in response to you broaching money talks is a clear warning sign.

Refusal to discuss may also be indicative of…

• a need to maintain financial power in a relationship
• insecurity over lost investments
• embarrassment over income disparity between partners
• pure unwillingness to handle money

No matter what the cause of the reluctance, you need to root it out before you can determine whether this relationship is a deal-breaker for you or not.

5. Stagnant net worth

Having worked for five years with no growth to show in net worth is definitely a worrying sign.

Imagine if your partner earns a good salary but:

• invests only at most 5% of it
• has no financial targets
• does not save

What will happen when retirement approaches?

Any person who’s financially ignorant or makes very minimal plans for the future is not good spouse material.

6. A serial borrower

Is your partner habitually asking for money before the month’s up? If they often run out of money and need support from others, it’s wise to proceed with eyes wide open.

Although it’s reasonable to have debt occasionally, it’s unacceptable to frequently live outside one’s means and consistently spend over what one earns.

This is a person you do not want to marry as their messy finances will surely negatively impact yours after marriage.

7. Job hops

Constant job hopping does not bode well for a long-term partnership. Rocky employment can trigger financial uncertainty after marriage.

It’s also important to question whether your partner’s lack of commitment to a job will reflect on their commitment to your marriage.

8. Spends unwisely

Changing spendthrift tendencies is a challenge.

Don’t be too confident that your partner will mellow after marriage as it may be too hard to give up those designer clothes and fancy cars even if their income can’t sustain it.

Then they are those who give to charity even when they can’t afford it. Charitable people are lovely folks. But it is hard to maintain a marriage with someone who is both kind and broke.

9. Careless about servicing debts

If your future spouse is deep in debt but has no intention of becoming debt-free and does not pay instalments on time, this can be a concern.

While having debt is not necessarily a deal-breaker, poor debt management should be.

When you marry, the total amount of debt your partner owes may affect your ability to apply for joint loans such as a housing loan.

Paying off existing debts may even result in too much being spent on debt repayments to the point nothing is available for other things.

10. Impulsive over investment advice

Is your partner someone who blindly follows advice given by unqualified “advisors”?

Impulsive or reckless investment actions without attentive analysis can spell danger.

While not necessarily a relationship deal-breaker, it would be wise to see whether your partner changes this habit with your encouragement.

Or, to be safe, introduce your partner to a licensed financial planner who would have your partner’s best interest in mind when dispensing legitimate and beneficial financial advice your partner can use.

This article first appeared in MyPF. Follow MyPF to simplify and grow your personal finances on Facebook and Instagram.