Yet, it was what Fauziah, who wished to be identified only by her first name, resorted to every time her youngest daughter cried for her father.

“I didn’t have the heart to tell her he was on death row waiting to be hanged. I just told her that he was away for work,” she said.

However, Fauziah had to finally come clean, realising it had become unrealistic to keep up the pretence the older her daughter got.

Today, after 13 painful years of standing by her husband on death row, Fauziah said she feels emotionally checked out but is trying her best to care for her children.

Her husband was caught in 2009 with two other individuals for dealing drugs by an agent provocateur, a person who acts to entice another to commit an illegal act. Her husband is being held in Kajang prison.

The mother of five said the public did not fully grasp the implications of a death sentence on the family of a convicted individual. She said it was also wrong to think that the only victim was the individual who committed the offence.

“It has been a harrowing experience. I lost my husband who was my main support system and when he was arrested my youngest was only four months old,” she said, her voice trembling.

“I (feel) it is unfair, and the punishment affects not only the individual but also the families,” she said, adding that no one fully understood the emotional and psychological trauma faced by the family members left behind.

The 51-year-old also pointed out that without her husband, she had to shoulder both parenting roles. “I had to work to provide financially and nurture my children which have been so difficult while putting on a brave front.”

In addition to the internal struggles, she said that her family has also been judged and ostracised by her community since her husband was arrested for dealing.

“People assume that since the father is a dealer, the children are also destined to become dealers. But I refuse to let that be the narrative that people create,” she said, stressing that she has worked to ensure that her children received a decent education.

Most of Fauziah’s children have furthered their studies at a local university but she is still determined to fight for her husband’s freedom and urged society to give him a second chance.

Meanwhile, Angelia Pranthaman described the day her family received a letter announcing her brother’s execution as the worst day of their lives.

“It was traumatic, and we didn’t know what to do,” she said, her eyes filled with tears.

Her brother, Pannir Pranthaman has been a death row inmate in Singapore since 2014 for trafficking 51.84g of drugs.

Angelia said she and her family meet Pannir every Friday and the journey to and from Singapore has been financially burdensome. “We save as much as we can to afford our trips down south and in the event of emergencies.”

In 2019, Pannir was set for the gallows but obtained a stay on his execution with the help of rights group Lawyers for Liberty (LFL). “But my brother received backlash from people online who said he should be hanged,” she said dejectedly.

She said those who were quick to condemn may not feel the same way if the tables were turned.

When the going gets tough, Angelia looks to her support system which includes her family and NGOs like LFL, Amnesty International and Anti-Death Penalty Asia Network.

“Ultimately, the desire to see my brother come home to us is my biggest motivation,” she said.