From Better Dads Malaysia

The alarming rise in youth violence, misogynistic attitudes and extremist thinking among teenagers has become a critical concern for families and communities.

A new dimension is added by online spaces where young people spend hours, not only absorbing content, but also being shaped by peer groups, influencers and hateful narratives.

The British series Adolescence on Netflix starkly illustrated this – a 13-year-old boy, immersed in misogynistic online sub-cultures, is involved in a shocking crime, raising urgent questions about how we reach our teens without hate taking root.

The problem is deeper than isolated acts of misogyny or hate. Social media has become a stage where gender-based contempt, dehumanisation of others and extreme behaviour find recognition.

Young people are vulnerable when they feel excluded, criticised, powerless – or when they believe that showing anger or violence will earn them belonging, status or respect.

Adolescence explored how toxic masculinity, resentment towards women and online hate merge with adolescent identity crises and lead to tragic outcomes.

Key risks at play

• Misogyny and male resentment: Young males absorbing messages on social media or forums that portray girls and women as objects, opponents or “lesser” beings. In Adolescence, the protagonist’s attitude towards the female victim reflects this dynamic.
• Online hate and dehumanisation: Hateful speech becomes normalised in digital echo chambers, making it easier for a teenager to view “others” (especially females or minority groups) as less than human.
• Unmonitored social media use: The constant connectivity allows harmful content, grooming, peer pressure and radical ideas to spread unchecked. The digital terrain becomes a battlefield for identity, belonging and control.
• Identity, approval and performance: Teens often feel they must “fit in”, “gain respect” or “prove themselves” – and this is displayed through hateful posts, image sharing, misogynistic jokes, peer-driven challenges, or silence about female peers.
• Parental and adult disconnect: Adults may assume “kids will grow out of it” or that social media is “just for fun”. But the Netflix drama shows the cost when adults are unaware of the digital cultures affecting teenagers.

What fathers, families and communities can do

Here are some actionable recommendations for tackling these risks through prevention, awareness and connection:

• Start honest, age-appropriate conversations about gender, respect and relationships.
• Don’t wait for a crisis. Talk early about how girls and boys are treated, what respect looks like, how power dynamics in relationships work, and how online behaviour reflects real-life attitudes.
• Use media (like Adolescence) as a conversation starter: ask, “What made Jamie behave that way?” and “What messages about girls did he absorb?”
• Encourage reflection: “How would you feel if someone spoke about you like that online?”
• Monitor and guide social media use – not just restrict it. Set up clear boundaries on devices: screen-free times, shared spaces for devices, awareness of apps and groups used.
• Regularly review apps and chats with your teen: ask who they talk to, what they post, how they feel about it.
• Teach them how algorithms work: how one click can lead to extremist, hateful or misogynistic content.
• Teach critical digital literacy and emotional intelligence. Question content: who posted, why, what does it imply about women or other groups, what feelings do they aim to provoke?
• Discuss how social media “likes”, comments, memes and image sharing lead to peer pressure – especially when they degrade or objectify others.
• Support emotional skills: how to handle rejection, anger and the feeling of being left out – these are triggers for harmful behaviour.
• Foster offline identity, belonging and positive peer groups, including participation in activities where respect, cooperation and mixed-gender interactions are normal (sports, arts, service, mentorship).
• Promote groups that emphasise inclusive leadership, respect for female peers, mixed-gender dialogue.
• Recognise when a teen “belongs” more to online hate communities than to healthy real-life groups – and intervene.
• Model respectful behaviour and deconstruct toxic masculinity. Fathers and male role models should demonstrate vulnerability, respect for women, equal partnerships, emotional awareness.
• Discuss norms: What it means to be a man today. What expectations do boys face? What damage does it cause to repress emotion, shame, weakness and objectify women?
• Use real-life examples to discuss where toxic norms start and how to unlearn them.
• Intervene early and without shame. Watch for signs: frequent misogynistic comments online, objectification of girls, aggression, withdrawal from mixed-gender spaces, secret online groups.
• Approach without accusation. Create a space for discussion: “I noticed this post you liked … can we talk about what you meant?
• If the behaviour escalates, seek professional help: counsellors, therapists, school social workers.
• Engage schools and communities in collective action.
• Schools must include modules on online misogyny, digital peer culture, gender respect, social media risks.
• Community fatherhood groups, youth groups, religious and cultural organisations should collaborate to provide mentorship and safe spaces for boys and girls.
• Media platforms and regulators must be challenged to reduce visibility of hateful, objectifying or misogynistic content targeting youths.
• Promote healthy digital citizenship and alternative narratives.
• Encourage teens to create positive content – respect, support, advocate for equality and empathy.
• Highlight stories of youth rejecting misogyny, having respectful relationships, working for inclusion. Celebrate male youths who support girls, respect women, treat peers as equals: change the narrative from dominance to partnership.

Our organisation’s commitment

Better Dads Malaysia is committed to equipping fathers, families and communities for this challenge. We will conduct awareness talks in the community and prepare resource materials aimed at:

• educating fathers and parents on social media, misogyny and hateful youth behaviour;
• include in our Fathering Workshops new materials on masculinity, fatherhood, digital parenting and gender respect;
• partnering with schools and institutions to deliver talks and seminars on teen misogyny, hate and social media risks;
• creating peer-mentor networks for young men who can model respectful behaviour;
• providing resources for families to identify and intervene in early signs of misogynistic or hateful youth behaviour.

As our co-founder, Jason Leong, puts it: “When young people learn to treat others as less than human – to mock, degrade or hate them – the line to violence becomes dangerously thin. Our role as fathers is not just to protect our sons, but to teach them to protect humanity.”

A call to national action

We call upon:

• The government to integrate digital misogyny, gender respect and online risks into national youth policies and school curricula.
• Social media platforms to take stronger action on content that denigrate women, promotes violence against them, or fosters hate among teenage boys.
• Schools and community groups must adopt whole-school strategies addressing gender culture, peer dynamics, digital literacy and violence prevention.
• Parents and caregivers to engage early, listen without judgement, and collaborate with schools and community resources.

When teenage hate, misogyny and radicalised thinking converge, the cost is not just individual – it is communal. But we can act. Together, we can raise a generation that uses social media to build respect, not destroy it; that sees girls and boys as human, worthy, equal.

Better Dads Malaysia is an NGO driving a national movement to empower fathers to improve the quality of life for families and children by motivating, mobilising and equipping fathers and father figures to be the best they can be.

The views expressed are those of the writers and do not necessarily reflect those of FMT.