I risk being branded by my detractors as being unIslamic, or worse, as a liberal, for what I am about to write. But I also feel that it is vital to share my experiences to see where I am coming from when it comes to alcohol consumption.

The controversy sparked by the serving of alcohol at a dinner in conjunction with Tourism Malaysia’s Global Travel Meet has since led to minister Tiong King Sing being served with a “stern warning” from the prime minister.

But the hullabaloo highlighted an interesting perspective about the current administration, foreign relations and Islam.

It is easy to take the majoritarian view that my religion is important and others should just follow.

But in my learning of Islam, I did not find a lot of references in which the Prophet Muhammad himself would tell non-Muslims to be mindful of Muslim sensitivities and urge non-Muslims to shut down restaurants during Ramadan – or for that matter, open displays of alcohol at shopping complexes during Chinese New Year.

As a career and family man as well as having lived as part of a Muslim minority for six years in the US and three years in Scotland, I have a more global perspective of Islam.

Unlike most other Muslims, I don’t believe that everyone else must walk on eggshells around Islam and Muslims.

For me, a sign of the strength of my faith is my ability to co-exist in mutual respect with others who do not share the same culture of values about drinking and wearing appropriate attire.

Muslims who are quick to criticise others for insensitivity merely highlight their own insecurities and pure ignorance about the religion they claim to defend.

When dad offered me a beer

Once, when I was 11 and living in the police barracks in Butterworth, my father came home from his patrols as a police constable and sat beside me in the back balcony of the two-bedroom flat.

In front of me, he placed a large glass of what I came to know to be beer and smiled, while saying “Hang nak try?” (Would you like a sip?)

I heard my mother grumbling, and my father slowly took his drink away.

The sight of Malays drinking alcohol was actually common during the days of P Ramlee. Movies like “Anak Bapak” show the actor in bars and nightclubs but we never knew what they drank, of course.

My father served under a British commander during his Field Force days fighting the communists, and drinking was part of the military and police culture then.

My father never talked to me about his days in the jungle and his days defending the country during the Indonesian Confrontation as well as the May 13 civil unrest.

But I would sometimes pick up stories from his friends when they met at Chinese coffee shops drinking tea and having some Hokkien Mee.

My father would sometimes take me with him on his Vespa and that’s how I picked some of the stories.

I heard a tale that when my father came home drunk, my mother would not let him into the house and he had to sober up somewhere else. That was why we children never saw our father being drunk.

The beer incident was a one-off event. Of course my father stopped drinking before he retired, and started walking to the mosque even though he owned a Honda Cub motorcycle. It was to make amends for his “sinful” ways, I suppose.

Fellow Malay students who drank

My second experience with other people drinking alcohol around me was when I was studying in the US for six years on a government scholarship. My other Malay friends would be invited to American College parties or potluck gatherings where alcohol was free flowing.

How the seniors behaved

Some of the senior Malays would drink and we younger ones just watched. Later when all of us became seniors, I would watch most of my Malay friends drinking vodka, beer or wine. I never tried drinking alcohol because I never had any identity crisis unlike some of my friends. I did not look down at them as bad Muslims. They were just being young and curious, I guess.

Now, all those friends are hajis having turned a new leaf and frequenting mosques as they retired.

When I returned to Malaysia, I came across more Malays who drank, during the days at the height of the Reformasi movement. Many of them were members of civil society organisations and were also activists.

I would be invited to gatherings and lunch and I would watch them drink while I just drank Coca Cola. I was also invited to speak at Rotary Clubs, and events organised by Chinese groups. If the event was held at a hotel, alcohol would be served while I spoke.

Schoolmate reunions

It was also during this time that my schoolmates from our alma mater, Sekolah Menengah Hua Lian, started holding big reunion dinners and gatherings.

I went along, to see my classmates and schoolmates, and I had no issue with them drinking alcohol. I would usually make some excuse to leave much earlier and after picture-taking, but only because I could not stand the strong smell of alcohol.

In my research interviewing architects I also came across non-Malay architect friends having wine and other alcoholic drinks while we chatted about their work. There was also one Malay architect who also drank alcohol whenever I was invited to his birthday parties.

These are my sources of architecture philosophy and history. Again I refrained from drinking any alcohol.

Islam and Malaysian culture

I accept that Islam views alcohol consumption to be a sin, but I never once thought that those who drank were bad or immoral people. They were my friends, colleagues, activists and fellow architects.

In Islam, drinking alcohol is forbidden to Muslims but living in a multi-cultural society, I have no issues with others engaging in their lifestyle of food and drinks. That is their business.

I remember in my research about our Parliament building when it was undergoing its renovation, a Parliament officer explained the original plans.

He said there used to be a bar at the top level of Parliament House, where Tunku Abdul Rahman would entertain guests. I could imagine some of these events while reading Lee Kuan Yew’s Singapore Story Part 1.

Recently, I attended the wedding of my Chinese chairman’s daughter; at each table, there were bottles of alcoholic drinks for those who imbibed. This, to me, is Malaysia – accepting others as they are, and not reminding others to tiptoe around my culture or faith.

That was my idea of a working relationship as well as a spiritual one.

We in Malaysia have our history, our people and our shared values. Islam is the religion of the federation but I do not remember anything about having to “jaga” sensitivities.

I have great respect for others and the idea of others being insensitive does not exist because we live and learn and change when we mature.

Everyone who is mature should already know what’s what and what not to do in order to live peacefully together. As a nation, making friends and allies of other nations require certain protocols as well as some leeway about handling guests.

I would really like to be present when US president Donald Trump comes to Malaysia and the waiter asks him whether he would prefer “teh tarik” or an orange juice as his dinner drink. I do hope he chooses teh tarik because I truly believe the Mamak tea can change feelings, perspectives and hey, why not politics too!

The views expressed are those of the writer and do not necessarily reflect those of FMT.