If Arsenal plays with the handbrake on, spare a thought for Newcastle: they can’t even start the car.
The two meet in Sunday night’s big game, but with both sets of fans wishing they could just put their foot down and go full throttle.
It’s a Big Six game that is a growing rivalry. Last season, the Magpies knocked the Gunners out of the Carabao Cup semi-final with a 4-0 aggregate after winning at home in the EPL.
Arsenal gained a consolation win at The Emirates in May and again in Singapore in July.
But after recent frustrations, the clash is on its way to being billed as a “Battle of the Unfulfilled”.
At least Arsenal has spent big and, on the whole, astutely.
The Gooners’ main grouse is that Mikel Arteta has morphed into Gareth Southgate.
His team selection and tactics against Manchester City were timid and right from the former England manager’s playbook.
You would never say City, under Pep Guardiola, were there for the taking, but last Sunday, all the advantages were Arsenal’s.
They were at home, had 48 hours extra rest after playing their Champions League game, while City had more injuries and had already lost twice.
Pep was in a bit of a flux.
Yet Arteta left marquee signing £55 million Eberechi Eze on the bench and opted for a midfield trio of Declan Rice, Martin Zubimendi and Mikel Merino.
Not much imagination there, but making Eze’s absence more incredulous was that playmaker Martin Odegaard was missing.
Reactions ranged from “having the handbrake on” to “weird” to “playing the victim”.
But Arteta’s response took the biscuit. Claiming they were the most attacking team in the league, he said:
“If you look at the players that we have, starting from the keeper, a very attacking goalkeeper, the most attacking goalkeeper in the league by far.”
Oh, dear. Even Southgate never resorted to that.
But after his stint as England boss, Southgate will be forever known as a nearly man.
And unless Arteta releases the safety catch for the Gunners, the Spaniard is heading for a similarly dubious honour at Arsenal.
The FA Cup win achieved in his first season is a distant memory, erased by a hattrick of runner-up spots in the league.
After providing him with the players he wants, it’s hard to see the Kroenkes keeping him on unless he wins a major trophy this season.
Arsenal’s net spend in the summer transfer window was even more than Liverpool’s.
And although the champions have the better 12 or 13, a case can be made for Arsenal having the better squad.
Liverpool is only a bad injury away from being exposed in a couple of positions, and it’s already had one – an ACL for Giovanni Leoni in midweek; Arsenal appears covered everywhere.
Well, except on the right wing, where £50m Noni Madueke is out for two months before Bukayo Saka is back to full fitness.
Arteta won’t be slow to point out that with five games gone, Sod’s Law is already working against him.
He doesn’t have as many attacking sparks as Arne Slot and, from what we can see, is reluctant to use what he has anyway.
Of course, Eze was brought on and provided the assist for Gabriel Martinelli’s equaliser. But it was too late to steal the points.
And the ex-Crystal Palace star scored his first goal for his new club against Port Vale in midweek.
But Liverpool has Alexander Isak and, when he can keep his shirt on, Hugo Ekitike. And the incomparable Mo Salah.
Slot also has the underrated Dominik Szoboszlai, who has stepped up, maybe as a result of the challenge from Florian Wirtz.
City has Erling Haaland and, when fit, Omar Marmoush. Arsenal has Igor Gyokeres.
Not quite in the same league? Worryingly for the Gooners, the guy has so few touches, they’re still not sure if he’s any good at all.
At least Newcastle has Yoane Wissa and Nick Woltemade, the so-called “the 2m Messi”, thanks to the £125 million it got for Isak.
Having broken their trophy drought by winning the Carabao Cup last season, the Magpies were expecting to kick on this time around.
But the Toon Army would be the first to admit their window was a bit of a disaster.
Overshadowed by the want away Isak, and the failure to deliver would-be replacements, it was a summer of exasperation.
Even the “remoteness” of Newcastle, isolated in north-east England – nearer to Rangers and Celtic than to most English clubs – was cited by players as a reason not to join.
Such stories only added to the frustration of the fans, who have long since been resigned to being unable to emulate Manchester City.
Indeed, the apparent loss of interest by the Saudi Arabian owners, the Public Investment Fund (PIF), has been compared to the impasse with the PIF-owned LIV Golf.
Prevented from spending lavishly by Profit and Sustainability Rules (PSR), they’ve even had to let home-grown players leave as they count for more on the balance sheet.
However, this week, news came that a £1 billion-plus new stadium is back on the drawing board.
Infrastructure does not count in the PSR, so such a sum would be allowed, while it would help close the gap with clubs that have greater capacities.
Match-day income has become an increasingly big part of a club’s earnings, which has seen many either build new homes or enlarge existing ones to increase this valuable source of revenue.
And by building afresh instead of renovating St James’s Park, Newcastle wouldn’t lose income by having to move out during construction.
As beloved as this home is, it isn’t helping Newcastle keep pace with those with larger homes.
A patchy start to the season, including a defeat to Barcelona in the Champions League, hasn’t helped.
But the good news for Geordies is that Joelinton and Bruno Guimares should be fit to rejoin Sandro Tonali in one of the top flight’s strongest midfields.
You could see them outmuscling Arsenal, but they will need their strikers to be on song.
Already five points behind Liverpool after five games, only a win will do for the Gunners.
The long-term question for both clubs is: will The Unfulfilled become The Unforgiven?
The views expressed are those of the writer and do not necessarily reflect those of FMT.