No one would have dared write this script.

Even the name sounds far-fetched. Anything starting with Grim…

But it’s real: the place is named after a Viking warrior.

And the location? Voted the worst spot to live in England.

It’s a long way from anywhere except maybe Denmark.

A home of the fishing industry, it carries the stench.

The team’s nickname is the Mariners, but it was United who were all at sea.

And the club? 56 places lower in the pyramid is a bit of a stretch.

The weather? An apocalyptic result had to have a Biblical downpour.

And the match? Three-at-the-back left acres of space on the right from which the first goal was scored.

A player that United let go bagged the second. If it were fiction, it would be rejected as too far-fetched.

The under-pressure keeper is beaten at his near post for the first and flaps like sheets on a clothesline for the second.

He gets 0/10 from The Sun. None of the starting XI get more than 4.

Both United’s big £60 million signings miss penalties.

The heroic equaliser adds a twist and prolongs the agony.

The under-pressure manager dares not watch the shootout.

Nope, you couldn’t make this up.

But there we have one of the League Cup’s greatest upsets.

Whatever happens to Ruben Amorim now, he’ll always have Grimsby.

He could be gone by the time you read this. If he isn’t, he should be – for his own and Manchester United’s health.

If he’s still clinging on, hoping for a resounding win over Burnley, it would be wrong.

A win tomorrow cannot be resounding, no matter what the score.

The Stretford End may roar itself hoarse – United fans do stay loyal to their managers – but a win would not even be a respite: Amorim at Old Trafford is simply not working.

It’s been nearly 10 months since the bright-eyed, bushy-bearded Portuguese took the reins, confident he could right the listing ship that one of the world’s biggest clubs had become.

A stay of execution would only allow Jim Ratcliffe’s Politburo time to sound out potential successors.

And there will be plenty of them. Perhaps not the frantic scrum of old, but there are always those looking for a quick payout.

Some wouldn’t want to touch it with a 10-foot pole; others might think it’s a good time to take over. Buy the stock while it’s low and all that.

For this is Manchester United. It has to go back up one day, doesn’t it?

The centrifugal force of a billion-strong diaspora will demand it. And so will history, logic, and what was once normality.

That’s what each successor to the Ferguson dynasty may have thought, but it didn’t happen.

Looking back now, the early post-Fergie years of David Moyes, Louis van Gaal and Jose Mourinho weren’t that bad – and brought the odd second-rate trophy.

Even Erik ten Hag won the FA Cup.

But this, coming not so long after the abject defeat to Spurs in the Europa Cup final, is a new, subterranean low.

It was against a League Two side who deserved their 15 minutes of fame.

That Amorim couldn’t watch the shootout was not a good look. It didn’t suggest his players would go with him into the trenches.

Not the sign of a Portuguese Man o’ War.

In a torrid 10 months, he’s aged 10 years.

The fit never seemed right. As mentioned in a previous column, Liverpool rejected him because he was fixated on playing three at the back.

Ratcliffe, ever in a hurry, rushed in, wanting a swift replacement for Ten Hag, but did he or his Politburo think what this would mean?

United hadn’t got the players for this system and still don’t. Is it suitable anyway for an intense battleground like the EPL?

But Ratcliffe liked the cut of Amorim’s jib – he does come across as a more likable personality than his dour Dutch predecessor.

Clearly, excruciatingly, though, it isn’t working.

This loss comes at an awkward time: the season has barely started and most of the big names have been snared.

It’s also too late for a new man to choose his own signings and too late to stop some of those Amorim doesn’t want from leaving.

There are some decent players on that list, but he couldn’t get a tune out of them.

Kobbie Mainoo was fleetingly the next big thing and got in the England side. But he’s disappeared and is apparently dispensable.

Doesn’t Amorim know what it means to United to have home-grown players?

They’ve had at least one in the squad for 88 years and it’s part of the fabric.

Bruno Fernandes has been muzzled by having to play too deep to accommodate the expensive duo, Bryan Mbuemo and Matheus Cunha.

Amorim should be more careful with his talisman – put him in a straight-jacket and he could even jump ship to Saudi Arabia.

Alejandro Garnacho was once thought to be a future superstar; now he’s persona non grata.

But some will have to leave because United need the money to balance the books after spending £200m on three strikers.

The squad was unbalanced when Amorim started and it’s unbalanced now.

They desperately need a goalkeeper. One of the world’s best happens to be available at a knockdown price, but it seems Gianluigi Donnarumma is more likely to go to the blue side of Manchester.

If anyone could lift the gloom, the giant Italian shot-stopper surely would.

But would he want to come with that defence in front of him?

Things may look bleak for Ratcliffe now. There’s no progress with the Wembley of the North, little hope of a return to Europe – another avenue closed with elimination from the Carabao Cup.

But there are good players on the books. Get the right manager in and suddenly the team starts winning and the sun comes out.

It shouldn’t be that difficult. After all, he’s never been hesitant when it comes to firing staff.

The views expressed are those of the writer and do not necessarily reflect those of FMT.