They’re not Spursy anymore!
For one tense and torturous night in Spain, Tottenham turned into Atletico Madrid.
Three shots, 27% possession, 115 passes, 19 fouls and one trophy.
And lots of skulduggery besides. In Christian Romero, they have a pretty good centreback and a world-class wind-up merchant.
And Brazil striker Richarlison isn’t far behind.
That said, only United fans will begrudge Tottenham their moment of redemption.
Seventeen years, eight managers, four final failures. And an uncanny knack of snatching defeat from the jaws of victory.
For Ange Postecoglou, it meant he kept his record of winning a trophy in his second season – wherever he is.
But it wasn’t Angeball. The one-time glory boys won, but it was anything but glorious. And football didn’t win either – it was a disgrace of a final.
“The worst since Game of Thrones,” quipped an Arsenal fan.
“Neither side could string three passes together,” said Michael Owen.
“Shambolic,” said The Guardian.
And it certainly wasn’t a night for Danny Blanchflower, the late skipper of Spurs’ fabled double-winning side of 1961.
It was he who famously insisted: “The great fallacy is that the game is first and last about winning. It’s nothing of the kind.
“The game is about glory,” he continued. “It is about doing things in style, with a flourish, about going out and beating the other lot, not waiting for them to die of boredom.”
This message is plastered all over Spurs’ stadium but there were hardly any flourishes worthy of the marvellous San Mames stadium in Bilbao.
When a goalline clearance (by Micky Van der Ven) is the best of them, it says it all.
Even the winning goal was almost surreptitious as it crept into the corner with no one sure if it was Brennan Johnson or Luke Shaw who got the last touch. Another apt epitaph.
An own goal would have been more fitting.
But it was a case of needs must, which is why the players and managers have to be given some slack – there was too much riding on it – circa £100m.
It’s why Ange changed his style and why Ruben Amorim got into a muddle.
By making the prize (a place in the Champions League) worth winning, UEFA is providing the big clubs with a safety net for a fallow year.
Two of the top seven EPL teams vying for a spot in next year’s competition will not make it, despite finishing with around 25 points more than either of the finalists.
It’s all about cash. Liverpool, who went out in the quarter-finals of this year’s tournament, picked up £83m in prize money alone.
On top of that, there was broadcasting revenue and matchday income which took the Reds’ total income to well over £100m.
With a similar global diaspora, United have the capacity to match that earning power off the field, if they’re not at the same level on it.
The Jim Ratcliffe regime, which has already been slashing and burning its way through this once-hallowed institution, was desperately hoping they could be on the gravy train next season.
Failure could now mean a very different approach, which is why United fans looked so glum at the final whistle.
They will not get all the players they were hoping for, while the staff will be bracing for more job losses.
That won’t stop them recruiting players earning more in a week than the staff earn in a year, but it does mean that United’s recovery will not get the financial leg-up it was hoping for.
And the purgatory of being outside the top echelons of European football will continue.
Next season will only be the second outside the Champions League, but they will be out of Europe altogether – and won’t have a safety net.
Arsene Wenger said he’ll campaign to get the Champions League place removed, but good luck with that – the big clubs want it as insurance.
All in all, it was a final UEFA deserved. They’ve been undone by their fawning to the big clubs – and football is the poorer.
Chris Hughton, who played in Spurs’ last UEFA Cup win in 1983-84, has spoken of the difference between then and now.
“Back then, there wasn’t even a thought about money. There would have been bonuses, sure, but it was solely about the glory of it; of winning a European trophy,” he said.
Now Spurs will have money to play with, but whether Postecoglou gets to spend it is another question.
The Aussie doesn’t seem bothered as his management style and success record are sure to be in demand again.
But for United, it’s another rude reminder of how far the club has fallen. With a team as disjointed and clueless as the owners, it’s not clear where they go from here.
Ruben Amorim, meanwhile, has said he will leave without compensation if asked.
“If the board and the fans feel I am not the right guy I will go tomorrow with no compensation,” he said after the game. “But I will not quit.”
He may be too honest for his own good.
With Ratcliffe still kicking himself for having to pay Erik ten Hag huge compensation for renewing his contract after the Cup Final win last year, he might just take Amorim at his word.
But then who does he get to replace him?
The Portuguese deserves a pre-season and to start the next one, but he needs a coherent strategy – something United haven’t had since Fergie was there.
At least Mattheus Cunha looks a good buy for a release clause of £65m.
But United have to do more astute wheeling and dealing if they are to challenge for a Champions League place next season. Even getting into Europe can’t be guaranteed.
Spurs, meanwhile, can look forward to being back among the Big Boys and with a pesky monkey off their back.
The views expressed are those of the writer and do not necessarily reflect those of FMT.