CR7 – a bigger narcissist than Trump

If Ronaldo was a country, he’d be the third biggest in the world – with his Instagram ‘population’.

At 632 million, he has more followers than anyone else. More than Trump. More than Taylor Swift. More than any living soul.

It would put him behind those superheavyweights India and China (1.4 billion apiece) but he’d still be on the podium.

He’d have almost double that of middleweight, the United States (330 million).

So an awful lot of people were wiping their eyes a few nights ago when CR7 burst into flood.

Or were they? Disappointment at missing a penalty is understandable but to blub like a baby…

What does this tell us about a 39-year-old?

He may have the physique of a 19-year-old but the backbone of a nine-year-old.

Instead of looking up to this veteran leader for inspiration, his teammates rushed to his aid.

Then they took turns to console the sobbing infant like anxious aunts when the mother can’t cope.

And all the time the big baby himself was glancing at the screen. Was it shame he felt that the world would be watching his extraordinary meltdown?

Or did he want us to watch? To show, so his apologists claim, how much he cared?

To those of us brought up with that quaint old-fashioned notion that grown-ups don’t cry, it is hard to get our heads around.

But the world has changed. He has a lot of support and to his credit, he did convert in the shootout.

And there was no shame in missing the earlier one – it was a great save by the Slovenian keeper, Jan Oblak, one of the world’s best.

But the hero of the night for Portugal was their own keeper, Diogo Costa, for a hattrick of brilliant penalty saves plus another block in open play.

Ronaldo just made it all about him though – as always. On this showing, he’s a bigger narcissist than Trump.

He’s become a liability and a stronger manager than Roberto Martinez would drop him.

Germany’s golden oldies seek last hurrah

Spain v Germany feels like the final, but it’s not just two games early, it’s two years early.

They may be the best two teams in the tournament from what we’ve seen so far, but neither side looks anywhere near the finished article.

Brimming with promise, both countries have kids we’re going to hear about in 2026 and beyond.

But Germany also possesses a trio of two old timers for whom this may well be a major tournament swansong.

Their combined ages are 106, but all own World Cup winner’s medals.

Current attention has rightly been on midfield pass master Toni Kroos who announced weeks ago that he will retire after the Euros.

But he is still insisting “not yet” to anyone who dare suggest tonight’s quarter-final clash could be when he says ‘auf wiedersehen’.

Having won the Champions League in his final club game for Real Madrid, the 34-year-old is looking to time his exit to perfection by adding the European Championship as well.

And if anyone can outdo Spain’s mesmeric passing, it is the man known as the ‘German Sniper’ for his own ability to find the target.

Having begun his career with Bayern Munich, he has been the fulcrum of the Real side for a decade.

The only doubts about him are whether his trophy cabinet can cope with any more silverware.

A fellow 34-year-old who has no plans to hang up his boots is Thomas Muller who was a victim when the Germans fell at the first hurdle in 2018.

But the irrepressible marauder from Bayern has returned to the fold and seems ageless alongside the exciting kids just over half his age.

Besides being Harry Kane’s golf partner at Bayern, he has chipped in with vital contributions for his country.

Like Kroos, he won the World Cup in Brazil in 2014.

Also in that side (that whacked Brazil 7-1 in the semi-final) is Manuel Neuer, who has come back from a serious skiing accident.

Now 38, it looked like Neuer’s career was over when he broke his leg days after the 2018 World Cup, but he’s back to his commanding best.

If old heads are going to decide things, then Germany has three ultra wise men.

France are playing as if they’re all wearing masks

If England are by a distance the least watchable team at the Euros, stinking the place out, France also deserve a podium place.

And with all that firepower, they have even less excuse.

A late own goal saw them scrape past Belgium in the Round of 16 but they have still to score from open play in the tournament.

They were world champions a couple of years ago and have the world’s best player in Kylian Mbappe who happens to be a striker.

Yet from 19 shots in the second half alone against Belgium, only one was on target before the own goal.

Mbappe, himself, snatched at a chance but in mitigation he is wearing a mask for a broken nose.

It’s as if the entire team are wearing masks that are partially covering the eyes.

On paper, they have the best midfield in the world but they are misfiring.

Eduardo Camavinga has hardly had a kick but Aurelien Tchouameni is a shadow of his Real Madrid self while Adrian Rabiot is more like a Rabiot in the headlights.

If Portugal weren’t playing with 10 men, you’d say they could pull off an upset.

Reversal of fortunes for Reds’ Dutch Double

It’s an ancient football paradox that certain players do better for their clubs than their countries. And the reverse can also be true.

So, too, are the popularity levels: sometimes for inexplicable reasons, players are more warmly received by a wider audience.

Right now, on the eve of the quarter-finals, Netherlands attacker Cody Gakpo has been one of the players of the tournament.

His three goals make him a candidate for the Golden Boot award, while his pace, drive and overall play has been a revelation.

It’s fair to say he has not reached these heights for Liverpool where he was not even an automatic starter.

In fact, he was a bit of a surprise acquisition even though he had impressed in the 2022 World Cup.

Indeed, he did not look like a Liverpool signing – someone that has been monitored since kindergarten and has indisputable data.

He looked more like a tournament signing and we know how they can turn out.

Gerard Houllier’s “final pieces of the jigsaw” after the 2002 World Cup: El Hadji Diouf and Salif Diao of Senegal, and France’s Bruno Cheyrou are among the biggest duds the club ever bought.

Well, Gakpo is nowhere near that category but Jurgen Klopp never seemed convinced by him.

Perhaps because he rarely played him in his current position – on the left wing cutting inside to use his right foot.

A kind of reverse Arjen Robben who performed the role cutting in from the right to use his left foot – to devastating effect.

Klopp preferred Luis Diaz, which was often why the Dutchman was shunted to the centre where he had to compete with Darwin Nunez.

But for the Netherlands, there’s no doubt who is the main man.

What will surprise Reds fans is that their other Dutchman, skipper, colossus and legend, Virgil van Dijk, has his critics in his home country.

Unlike Gakpo, Liverpool had made it obvious the giant centre-back was their man and almost mucked it up – incurring a fine and the wrath of Southampton for tapping up.

But fine paid and grovelling apology made, they got their man six months later- for a world record for a defender.

His impact was instant and when Allison signed in the summer, Liverpool’s defensive frailties were a thing of the past.

Yet VVD, as he is affectionately known, has his critics among ex-Dutch masters.

Marco van Basten says he “causes chaos with the ball” while Ruud Gullit questions his leadership qualities, saying he thinks he’s better than the rest.

We could ask: ‘Didn’t you, Ruud?’

With their two stars shining, Netherlands are favourites to beat Turkey and go all the way.

England have been here before – and changed

England have been in this situation before – pilloried mercilessly for pathetic starts to a tournament.

In 1986, Bobby Robson was ridiculed in the media for the way the team struggled and his obsession with Bryan Robson.

But he listened to the players, changed things and turned it around only to lose to Diego Maradona.

At Italia 90, it was the same story before they eventually went out on penalties in the semi-finals.

All is not lost. The team has talent. If the manager listens and makes changes, they can still progress. It’s up to you, Gareth Southgate.

The views expressed are those of the writer and do not necessarily reflect those of FMT.