Just when we thought we could start the new year on a happy and positive note, along comes a volleyball coach, and a player’s father, to turn our expectation on its head.
Coaches normally motivate with words of encouragement by creating self-worth, teamwork, and building self-confidence, but this particular coach from Melaka claimed that when he slapped two underage girls in his team, he was only firing them up and trying to motivate them. He is wrong, Violence is not the way to bring out the best in people.
Most fathers are supportive of their children and will offer words of encouragement to further their children’s dream of achieving their goals in life. Many acknowledge that what happens on the sports field will translate into what their children want to make of their life. Important things like commitment, working with others, discipline, trust, and dedication.
For many children, participation in sports has an important impact on them and can change their life and increase their emotional well-being. So why was this particular father oblivious to the pain that his daughter will have experienced when she was publicly humiliated by her coach?
He was more concerned about the coach’s future than he was of the possible psychological trauma and drop in self-esteem of his daughter.
Our society must seem somewhat dysfunctional, and our social welfare department ineffective, when we read that a member of the royal household had to propose the formation of a department to help deal with bullying and child abuse.
Haven’t we enough organisations, ministries and departments to deal with things of this nature? Why is it so difficult to protect our children? Perhaps, a clue to how and why things have gone wrong lies in the responses of the coach and the parent. Insensitivity. Indifference. Ignorance.
So, have we lost our fundamental values? Have we become more morally bankrupt?
The coach crossed the boundaries of human decency and conduct. He failed in his job. His terrible attitude and behaviour have called into question the reputation of sports and coaching bodies in Malaysia.
There has been muted response from the various sports bodies. Where is their condemnation of what the coach did?
One volleyball club used its players to show support for the coach. This is wrong. The slapping incident is just the tip of the iceberg of the abuses being handed out by a number of coaches, teachers and lecturers in the country.
The coach who slapped the two Under-14 players is a bully and a coward. He attacked two defenceless girls. People who hold positions of responsibility are the ones who should set good examples for the rest of society. They are highly influential, and many children and teenagers learn from them and look up to them.
So when they fail to set high standards, and they are not punished by the authorities, then a bad precedent is being set.
One consequence is that we will see more cases of abuse being perpetrated by members of the public on young children, like the recent case of a four-year-old who was abused by his sister and her friends.
In the past, many bullies had gone unpunished, and there was no deterrent to dissuade others from committing similar violent acts. Each time a death occurs from an alleged abuse, we form committees and special bodies to monitor such cases, but they do not appear to have any effect in reducing violence meted out on children.
The relevant authority, for example the education ministry, would just transfer an errant individual, when, by right, the perpetrator should have been sacked or punished, especially if the law had been broken.
If left unchecked, the coach, or the teacher, who bullies will continue their violence.
Our education system remains in critical condition and needs immediate treatment.
The views expressed are those of the writer and do not necessarily reflect those of FMT.