When I was 15, my ustazah launched into a 40-minute rant during agama class about how condoms are sex toys, and the use of birth control pills would send us straight to the bowels of hell.

She went ballistic after overhearing one female student tell another that she was prescribed birth control pills to treat her acne.

“Sex is for making babies, not for pleasure,” my ustazah’s roar echoed across the surau.

There was dead silence in the class as my ustazah spoke at length about the sin of pre-marital sex, the issue of sexual consent and the non-existence of sexual rights for girls.

She told the girls that once they married, they had to comply with the sexual demands of their husbands even if they didn’t feel up to it.

She told the boys it was their right to “control” their wives in all aspects of their lives – and if their wives didn’t obey, they had the right to hit them or “lightly tap” them, as she so diplomatically put it.

This didn’t sit well with me or my classmates. But we went about our day as best we could, believing that if what she told us was based on the holy scriptures, there must be some truth in it.

Can you blame us? We were young and naive, and taught from childhood not to question what an adult says.

Now as a 21-year-old – legally an adult, mentally almost there – I cringe at the thought of that humiliating lesson by my ustazah. I have also come to realise that many others share these misconceptions about marriage and sex.

There have been mixed reactions about the topic of sex education ever since Putrajaya indicated the possibility that it would be taught in schools.

The “anti-sex ed” voices have been the loudest, convinced as they are that this subject will teach teenagers one thing and one thing only… how to have sex.

They also fear it will destroy students’ religious beliefs, conveniently discounting the fact that one doesn’t have to forgo one’s religious beliefs to learn about one’s body and sexuality.

A well constructed sex education programme would teach students the biology of their reproductive organs – from pregnancies to sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) and how to prevent both.

Far from promoting sexual intercourse among teens, sex education would help them make healthy, informed and responsible choices.

While abstinence is still the best way to prevent getting pregnant and contracting STDs, the reality is that most teens (even adults) will not wait until marriage to have sex.

Why not teach them about the importance of mutual consent, contraception, and the need to get tested for STDs?

Think about it – more condoms equal fewer babies in dumpsters.

Malaysian girls in particular are clueless about their reproductive organs and ashamed of their periods. It’s not something they feel comfortable talking about openly and, as a result, they hide their problems for fear of being mocked.

Too often a girl is blamed if she gets raped. And a boy is ignored if he tells someone he has been sexually abused.

Girls get asked, “What were you wearing that night?” and boys are told they should have enjoyed the ghastly incident if their perpetrator was female.

The National Union of the Teaching Profession says the subject of sex education should be made interesting, realistic and relevant, and teach students about the responsibility that comes with engaging in sexual intercourse.

There are many others like my ustazah who consider abstinence the golden rule in preventing unwanted pregnancies and STDs.

They believe sex is strictly for reproduction, not pleasure. Therefore condoms and other forms of birth control should never be used because they prevent conception, which itself is a sin.

God apparently forbids sexual freedom in women, and condones massaging the egos of men who can wield power over their wives. These are common enough “teachings” in religious classes and the brand of advice discreetly whispered at weddings.

Some are half-truths – they can be found in the Quran or the hadith – but others are the personal interpretations of muftis.

If sex education programmes in schools strike fear in the hearts of parents, why do they still refuse to speak to their children about sex in the privacy of their homes?

Isn’t this unreasonable refusal to talk openly about sex precisely why there is still an alarming number of teen pregnancies? Dead babies in dumpsters? Incest, rape, paedophilia?

Sex education in schools is not an agenda to wilfully go against one’s religion. The lessons in our holy scriptures are there for a good reason as are the lessons taught in sex education programmes.

Maybe you can’t teach an old dog new tricks, but you can teach young people how to use birth control even if they plan not to have sex before marriage.

Puteri Aisya is an intern with FMT.

The views expressed are those of the writer and do not necessarily reflect those of FMT.