It has been 27 years since I left Malaysia, the country of my birth. I was born in the 50s, and it was in this country that I grew up. It was here that I went to school, went camping, earned money doing odd jobs, and built friendships, some of which have endured the test of time. In between, there were numerous plates of ais kacang and ice balls, many roti canais with (yesterday’s) dalcha, countless bowls of cendol and infinite glasses of Anchor, Tiger and Carlsberg beer.

Yes, Malaysia made me, raised me and taught me much of what I know and can do – there is no doubting this fact. My adopted country has supplemented my skills and knowledge, but what Malaysia taught me in my formative years is significant and will never be forgotten.

Over the last few years, I made frequent trips to the motherland. Was it because of nostalgia? Yes, for sure – I cannot deny this fact because I do miss my hometown, my schoolmates, my old work colleagues and my drinking buddies. A sense of belonging and a desire to return to where it all began has been pulling at my heartstrings.

Each trip has given me the opportunity to re-engage with people from my past, sometimes over one or two cups of teh tarik, and sometimes in the company of several glasses of cold beer served in a very chilled glass.

And with each visit, I am increasingly aware that the Malaysia of old is no more.

Now, don’t get me wrong. There is nothing wrong with all the advancements and prosperity that the nation has experienced over the last few decades. And I am certainly not saying that I would prefer to see the same old potholed roads, bailey bridges and Bedford buses. In fact, it makes me proud to see all the new structures – the flyovers, high-rises and ultra-modern airports.

What, then, is wrong with the Malaysia of today? What is it that saddens me whenever I “balik kampung”? It is the current Malaysian attitude.

Today, in the second millennium, despite the wider grasp of and accessibility to education coupled with increased global exposure, the attitude of Malaysians is at a deplorable level. And the scary part is, this attitude seems to have become firmly entrenched in the fabric of Malaysian society.

Attitude is the vehicle that transports behavioural characteristics. Attitude supports the manner in which life’s activities are conducted.

Malaysians of yesteryear had copyright ownership of the most wonderfully warm, loving and unique attitude. It was the nation’s most amazing and endearing aspect and gave every Malaysian a warm, fuzzy sense of pride.

This attitude resulted from the intermingling of many races, all thrown together into one huge melting pot, each trying to make a niche for themselves. It was the most beautiful attribute of the nation.

But now, the psyche of Malaysians has become alarming. They have adopted the “survival of the fittest” and “what’s in it for me?” mindset, forever searching for the leverage that will make more money, get them to the front of the queue, win the contract, receive the service for free or even beat the traffic. The “I” factor has become the driving force.

As time passes, attitudes will change. But they must regenerate, not degenerate.

When I visited India many years ago, I was amazed by the chaos on the roads. Every user, from the pedestrians to the cyclists to the truck drivers, jostled to be the first through – even the chickens and goats! The “survival of the fittest” attitude was so evident.

I asked my host whether this attitude ceased once the road users arrived at their destinations. My host sadly informed me that it did not, and that this attitude was in fact carried into every facet of life in India.

Discipline, a strong culture of dedication to a cause and unwavering respect for a basic set of rules are vital ingredients for nation-building. Then, after the nation is built, the same ingredients are required for maintenance.

The surprising thing is that Malaysians had these. They were kind, humble, cultured, respectful and caring. They had good characters. It was these traits that galvanised the nation after Britain pulled out. It was a struggle for the first 10 to 20 years after independence, but these traits came to the fore and maintained the peace and tranquility required for the nation to sow the seeds for eventual global strength.

But in the last 10 to 20 years, these traits have mysteriously vanished. They have become redundant. Malaysians have become affluent.

The “survival of the fittest” attitude that I saw in India has now become life’s motto in Malaysia. For the perfect opportunity to see this motto in action, all one has to do is to drive on the roads of Malaysia. The intensity with which each Malaysian driver enforces this motto, with blatant disregard for their fellow road users, is not a pleasant experience. And in my opinion, what you experience on the roads is indicative of life in Malaysia as a whole.

In many of the discussions about Malaysian attitudes to which I have been party, it was suggested that education would cure the deteriorating attitudes. Will it?

Let us return to the driving analogy. Today’s Malaysians are well educated. Many have travelled the full academic journey locally or in foreign lands. They are also well travelled because the current economic prosperity allows them to holiday in various parts of the world.

Malaysians today have access to ebooks, movies, television and the World Wide Web, all of which expose them, in the comfort of their living rooms, to appropriate behaviour on the road.

But alas, on the road, all the good attitudes they may have witnessed in other lands are discarded like a cloak. The same old painful attitudes come to the fore, and their “perangai” returns to “business as usual”. So how much more education do Malaysians need?

Malaysia today is a society which does not have the self-discipline to follow simple rules, the capacity to respect fellow human beings or the ability to live and let live. Can such a society ever hope to build a nation that is fair, equitable and “bersih”?

My dear ex-countrymen, you need to do some serious soul searching. If you do not search your soul and sort out the important issues, it will not matter which party rules the country. A better Malaysia starts with you. YOU must change; only then can the right governance lead to the betterment of society and prolong the prosperity of the nation.

Malaysians, the ball is in your court. There are sacrifices to be made if you want a nation built on natural justice and the principles of equity and meritocracy. Clamouring for such a nation will not suffice.

If you cannot make these sacrifices, then accept the fact that a fragmented Malaysia will be the reality for eternity. Whether it is PKR, JKR or RMR that rules, it will only mean “same shit, different party”. For you, building a nation will be a bridge too far.

Ashok Gopalan was born in Kajang, the land of satay, and migrated to Australia in 1990.

The views expressed are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of FMT.