Every girl dreams of meeting her Prince Charming, getting married and living happily ever after in romantic bliss. Her husband becomes not just her partner in life, but her best friend – the one from whom she seeks solace when she is sad, and with whom she shares her happiness.
On 8 March, Perak PAS information chief Wan Tarmizi Abd Aziz suggested that women mark International Women’s Day by consenting to polygamy. Did he realise that his remark was an insult?
He said, “Women’s Day will be more meaningful if a woman gifts another woman to her spouse as a mark of appreciation of other women.”
What appreciation? How? He is belittling the empowerment of women and the celebration of women’s success and achievements.
Wan Tarmizi said his statement was based on Islamic teachings.
“In Islam, one has to fulfil certain conditions to have more than one wife… Financial obligations are just one condition… He has to be a provider,” he said.
Is he not aware that many men only just manage to provide for one wife and their children? To find money to cater for three more wives and their children is unrealistic if the families are to have quality lives.
Isn’t marriage a union of two people who should treat one another with love and respect? Each has a role to play in marriage, which means that women have rights, just as men have responsibilities.
It appears that some PAS men insist on their right to have multiple wives, but little is mentioned of their responsibilities. They may pull the wool over the eyes of some submissive women, but they cannot deceive the majority of Malay/Muslim women. Do PAS men just want obedient wives who do not question their husbands, even when they are guilty of wrongdoing?
Trust is the foundation of any relationship. It appears that the good PAS wife must have absolute trust in her husband.
Our fathers and grandfathers advised their daughters to gain an education so they could be financially independent, but it looks like some PAS members are forcing women to take many steps backwards.
Mariam Mokhtar is an FMT columnist.
The views expressed are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of FMT.