The national slogan of “unity in diversity” is a living reality for former estate manager Murulitharan Krishnan Kutty and his Malaysian Nepalese wife Endra Thapa.
Muruli, as he is known, and Endra have a Malay Muslim daughter-in-law, a Christian son-in-law and a Hindu daughter-in-law. One more son is still single “and who knows, he may bring home a Chinese daughter-in-law to complete the equation”, he quips.
The couple had to overcome some trepidation when their eldest son began courting a Malay girl.
“My wife and I had our fears – we were worried about the reaction of the hypocritical society we live in,” he says. “We were concerned many people would react negatively as they can’t look beyond themselves.”
Muruli had been brought up by liberal parents in a multiracial neighbourhood of Butterworth in the 1960s, when schools focused on unity: he grew up believing in Malaysia as a multiracial nation where unity was possible and should be encouraged.
Initial fears of whether a Malay Muslim girl could happily fit into his Hindu family were soon overcome, with thoughts about the couple’s future happiness taking precedence.
“Not only is Sulaiha Mohd Hayani a wonderful person, she has proved to be a great wife to my son Kogeelan,” he says.
Kogeelan, who courted Sulaiha for almost nine years, tells FMT that race and religion are not important issues for them. “Living in Malaysia means accepting each other’s way of life,” he says. “If you follow all the legal requirements and the family is happy, that will contribute a great deal towards keeping the nation happy.”
Muruli’s Christian son-in-law Roy Mithran Jayabalan, also assimilated well into the family’s Hindu way of life. “He is a blessing for my daughter Kavitha. We have a healthy relationship and attend each other’s religious functions although we may not partake in them.”
Jayabalan believes religious differences are exploited by politicians for their own ends with little regard to the impact of such actions on the wider population.
“My wife and I believe that everyone is trying to reach God in their own way and we should respect each other’s faith,” he says. “I am always present in the religious and cultural practices of my family and yet pray in my own way.”
Muruli’s Hindu daughter-in-law Yasotha Sooriyamurthi says she enjoys every moment of their family gatherings.
“It’s a joy to see the happiness in the faces of my parents-in-law during our gatherings,” she said, while her husband Jayaprakash says “We feel truly Malaysian during these moments.”
They long for pandemic restrictions to be relaxed so that they can resume holding their large family gatherings.
Muruli says his work as an estate manager allowed him to view people equally because estate folks lived with so much shared hardship.
“Race or religion was never part of our spectrum of life but it was only after moving to the city that I realised there is so much toxicity in race relationships.”
He believes that if all Malaysians can accept each other’s way of life without claims of supremacy, the nation can achieve more through the resulting combined strength and bring to reality the Malaysian Family dream.