Perhaps the most common view is that children who send their parents to old folks’ homes are disrespectful and lack filial piety.
However, they are not the only victims of such perceptions as nursing home owners and workers say they too feel unfairly treated by the public.
An owner of a nursing home in Kuala Lumpur, who only wanted to be known as Rashid, said society appeared uneasy over the existence of nursing homes.
“To the public, it is as if we encourage children to dump their parents here,” he told FMT.
Yuhazlina, 34, who is a supervisor at the nursing home, added that society was often judgmental of nursing homes, failing to see the positive alternatives and support that such establishments try to offer.
“Sending them (old folks) here does not mean they are being dumped.”
On the contrary, she said, placing ailing parents in nursing homes for proper care helps curb the parent-dumping issue.
“We are not accusing anyone of dumping their parents, but there have been several cases before in which elderly people were left at bus stops and public areas,” she said.
A 2010 study conducted by the Department of Statistics showed that nearly one in three Malaysians aged 60 and above have been abandoned by their children.
There are about 675,000 elderly parents in the country who do not receive financial support from their children, according to a 2004 survey conducted by the National Population and Family Development Board.
However, Yuhazlina said not all children who send their parents to nursing homes are heartless or willing to give their parents away to strangers.
“Some of them feel very guilty and are unwilling to leave their parents at nursing homes,” she said.
“But they do not have any other choice.”
She said most people who place their parents in nursing homes are caught between a rock and a hard place, trying to balance earning a living with taking care of their parents.
However, this is not always possible as some individuals require specialised care.
In some cases, she added, the senior citizens themselves are willing to stay at nursing homes because they know they would receive proper care from professionals there.
Rashid shared some stories of the residents at his nursing home in KL.
Nek Tom, 68, had to be admitted to the home for proper medical attention and round-the-clock care.
“She has a son, but she requires professional medical attention as she was diagnosed with dementia and needs constant care,” he said.
Meanwhile, 74-year-old Mak Ti (not her real name) had never married but stayed with her siblings until their deaths. Following this, her relatives were forced to send her to a nursing home as she is not in good health.
Rashid added that Mak Ti’s relatives were collecting money from family members to pay for her care.
Yuhazlina said it was better to place ailing parents in the hands of professionals than to hire maids who were not qualified to look after people with medical conditions.
“Most of us working here are qualified medical practitioners, and we have experience in taking care of sick people,” she told FMT.
Although she acknowledged that some maids were well experienced in taking care of individuals who were sick or elderly, she said most did not have medical backgrounds.
“We are medically equipped and trained.”
Yuhazlina added that most registered and regulated nursing homes provide satisfactory and professional treatment of its residents, and adopt systematic procedures to ensure that all residents are well cared for.
Ivy Chong contributed to this article.