“It is difficult for me to play with him in the playground or even take him to the movies, or anywhere that has no disabled access,” says the disabled author.
It is at times like these that he feels disheartened. But he will not say no when his three-year old son, J Phavickneyaraj, asks to to be taken out. “I would not say no. If I have to struggle, I will. If I have to use my hands to move push the see-saw up and down, I will.”
An industrial accident in Singapore left him disabled 10 years ago, Jeyaraj did not want to give up his dream of having a family. He and his wife K Bavani tried for three years, without success.
It took seven years for the couple’s prayers to be answered and when Jeyaraj found out his wife was expecting, he said he could not control his emotions.
Jeyaraj said there was nothing he would not do for his only child.
“Throughout the pregnancy, I never gave a thought as to whether the child was a boy or girl. I didn’t care. All I wanted was for the child to be healthy and better than myself.”
He said he had never held a baby in his arms before his son was born, as he was afraid of how fragile they are.
“But when I laid eyes on my son for the first time, I just had to hold him in my arms and it was just the best feeling in the world.”
Phavickneyaraj, whom he calls ‘Appa’s son’ (father’s son) is more than his child to him, also being his best friend and ‘coach’.
Jeyaraj has written a dual-language guidebook for wheelchair-bound people and their loved ones, called ‘Guidance For Wheelchair Bound’. He sells pens outside banks to supplement his income.
“In the mornings, he will come to me and ‘remind’ me to go and sell pens and when I’m out for meetings he will take my wife’s handphone and call me to speak to me.”
After dinner, Jeyaraj spends the evening with his son, teaching him his ABCs, numbers and nursery rhymes.
“Truth be told, I’m afraid of the future that I can give my son as I only sell pens for a living, but Phavickneyaraj is my driving force in thinking of more ways to earn an income and my motivation for going out every day to earn money.”
Jeyaraj says he may never be able to buy a house or a car for his son, but is determined to make his son proud of him.
“I want him to know that with willpower he can accomplish anything. This is why I finished writing my book and why I want to enter the Malaysian Book of Records (by climbing up the 272 steps of Batu Caves).
“It is all for him. My son is my source of inspiration and I want to be his. Everything I do is for him and hopefully, if I can make him proud, I would be very happy.”