You’re getting married…congratulations! Now wedding plans are kicking in but wait – your eyes aren’t just on the wedding, right?

Before taking the plunge, you should be certain that you and your hubby-to-be are on the same page regarding money matters.

How important is it? Well, numerous studies show that arguing about money is the number one sign that a couple may not be compatible for the long haul.

Perhaps the first thing is an attitude adjustment. It starts with ceasing to think of yourself, and your money, from an individual standpoint. Choose instead to see you and your partner as a team.

Making decisions together is even more important than sticking to budgetary constraints. Make sure you do this, with generosity and willingness to give way.

“Personal finance is normally 90% behaviour and 10% math, and when you’re thinking about getting married, I think that number goes up to even 95% behavioural and emotional.

“You guys working as a team and coming up with effective strategies is going to be the most important part about combining your finances — more so than any of the maths,” said Nick Holeman, a certified US financial planner.

Do: Discuss your money hopes and fears

When talking about money, tackle the big issues first. Ask each other, “What are your financial goals?”

What do you and your fiancé want to achieve with what you earn in the next year? How about in five years or even over your lifetime?

What’s important to you (home, travel) may differ from what’s important to him (starting his own business).

But this is not bad news. Instead, it’s an opportunity to come to an agreement about what you want to see come to pass. It’s a chance to dream together.

Secondly, what is your partner most afraid of when it comes to finances? Recognise that you are different, and what you are afraid of often stems from how you were raised.

Is your partner afraid he won’t be able to retire when he wants to because he saw his father work hard all his life? Or do his fears revolve around losing his job, or not being able to provide for you and your future family?

And what about you? What are your money insecurities centred around?

Sharing your fears helps you understand each other at a deeper level. It minimises tension especially when talking (or arguing) about money matters.

It takes courage to face your fears, and even more courage to openly talk about them, even to the person dearest to your heart. But it’s well worth it.

Don’t: Sweat the small stuff

In your desire to handle financial matters as a couple, remember not to overdo it. Creating a budget down to the last sen is not advisable.

While a budget is the foundation for a couple’s financial health, an overly detailed budget could be the cause of unnecessary arguments over the smallest things.

Remember, there are two of you now, and therefore there are twice as many opportunities to get stressed.

Relax. Consider backward budgeting.

Once you recognise what your short- and long-term goals are and have figured out how much you need to save per month to get there, don’t sweat over who is spending how much on what, when and where.

As long as you are putting your savings in place, there is no need to trace every single cent in a way that is stressful or burdensome.

Certified Public Accountant Patrick Brewer says that backward budgeting “flips the strategy on traditional budgeting, from a task you dread to a useful tool that helps you understand and manage the big picture.”

There are many preparations to be made before your big day but getting on the same page financially is undoubtedly one of the most important ones.

This article first appeared in The New Savvy.

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