For couples planning to marry soon, the issue of money is a rather delicate one that most couples would like to avoid tackling altogether.

However, the right time to start having these conversations is before you say “I do” and not after.

Whatever money issues you have with your partner now won’t vanish after marriage. In fact, marriage may even amplify it.

When a couple marries, their finances inevitably become interwoven. From this point onwards, your partner’s state of finances, habits, and values can have a material impact on yours.

Whether this impact is positive or negative depends on your having healthy conversations about money – now.

Why that money talk is important

No two people see money in the same way. Both are brought up in different homes, under different conditions and therefore hold different views about money.

Maybe you’re thrifty by nature but your partner loves to spend. Although it’s true that opposites attract, too many differences, particularly on how money should be spent, can work against rather than for you as a couple.

Remember, as a married couple, you’ll soon be thinking of either renting a space together, putting a downpayment on a home, having children and then, saving for their education.

Here are four ways to help ease you into having that all-important money talk with your spouse.

1. Pick a neutral time

The aim is to have a quiet, casual conversation when there’s no specific money issue that has cropped up – like a big purchase on the credit card or how to raise the funds to fix the car engine that died on you.

Start by saying you want to discuss your future, how both of you as a couple can work together to achieve common financial objectives.

Set a day and time and focus on it.

2. Give all your focus to the discussion

No interruptions. Take a walk, sit on the patio or get cosy on the sofa. Switch off all disruptive devices – no TV or mobile phone.

Give this discussion your full focus. Listen with intent and be in the now; try to understand your partner. Pose inquiries for clarity.

3. Pick a subject for discussion

If this is the first time both of you are discussing money, disclose your existing individual finances, all your money goals… all your expectations and wants.

Honesty and trust are important. If you want to purchase your own home, say so. You may also need to talk about money management in your family while growing up.

These topics will get you to better understand your partner and establish a base for pushing ahead as you build solid and healthy finances together.

At the end of the talk, choose one goal to chip away at together.

4. Set a subsequent discussion on a weekly basis and stick to it

This is only the start. Future money subjects may incorporate choosing a Chief Financial Officer for the family, setting the financial limit, overseeing debts, taking care of banking, and checking and defining ongoing goals.

5. Be honest about debt

Debts can be a distressing experience for a couple, and possibly the easiest to ignite an argument. Attempting to manage it by yourself by hiding it from your spouse will cause more, not less stress when the truth comes out.

Inform your spouse about your debts, big and small. The sooner you have the discussion, the simpler it will be for you as a couple.

Work on an arrangement together to reduce the debt consistently with no late instalments. Regardless of whether you and your spouse maintain separate bank accounts, this debt may still influence your capacity to apply for joint credit.

6. Decide on how to handle your bank accounts

For instance, do you need separate bank accounts, one bank account or a mix of both?

Allow yourself plenty of time to think this through.

Implement whatever system works for both of you. Your financial systems ought to cater to your common objectives and needs.

Conclusion: communication is key

Listening, compromising, and realising action plans together will give you a brighter future.

Consider professional services if you find that there are barriers to communicating as a couple. Building a healthy financial life with your spouse is the foundation for building a healthy future together.

This article first appeared in MyPF. Follow MyPF to simplify and grow your personal finances on Facebook and Instagram.