In 2001, Denise (not her real name) was diagnosed with pulmonary hypertension, which caused abnormally high blood pressure in her lungs. Once an active hiker and swimmer, she struggled as her physical condition worsened over time.

She started feeling very short of breath when she went up the stairs, and did not have as much energy as she normally had, needing to take rest breaks frequently.

Her illness progressed over the next 20 years. She had to continually re-evaluate her life to adjust and slow down.

Eventually, she and her husband Jim (not his real name) had to sell their two-storey terrace house and move into a smaller, single-storey home. And she had to quit her job.

Over the course of her illness, Denise continued to suffer from physical symptoms, as well as increasing anxiety and depression. Jim was looking for someone to help with her mental health when he was referred by a family friend to palliative care professionals.

What is palliative care?

Palliative care is specialised medical care for those with serious illnesses. It focuses on providing them with relief from their symptoms and improving the quality of life for patients and their families.

The palliative care team Jim and Denise selected included a doctor, a nurse, a physiotherapist, and a religious adviser, who all worked together to provide various forms of support for Denise and her family.

The family felt comforted and confident after getting them on board. Denise simply had to express her needs and concerns, and the team would check with the doctor and quickly find workable solutions. The good news is, Denise does not have cancer or emphysema.

After a particular meeting with the religious adviser, her perspective began to shift. The adviser had asked her to treasure the moment. That really helped, because she had been so focused on the future and what was going to happen that she was missing precious moments in the here and now.

The other breakthrough she had was in “trying to accept”; to appreciate “being, not doing”.

Palliative care has given Denise’s entire family the ability to talk openly about what was happening and to focus on her wellbeing. They have helped the family gain clarity and learn how to explain things to friends and extended family.

Palliative care has also allowed Jim and Denise to enjoy the simple joys of being married, such as cooking and spending quality time together. It has enabled them to take stock of what matters most: their loving partnership and their precious family.

Denise and Jim are sharing their experience to show that palliative care isn’t about medical needs alone. The team has become part of the family, providing the strong emotional support and confidence a family with a chronically ill member needs to move forward and live to the fullest.

TELEME Healing Life Stories is a collection of inspirational stories of how ordinary people triumph over their health conditions and recover to lead a healthier life after that. Feel free to email [email protected] to share your story.

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