Raising a child can be physically, mentally and emotionally exhausting. But knowing that you have done your part in ensuring their well-being and giving them a good head start in life lasts a lifetime.

If you ask parents with autistic children, their special needs child is no different. You just have to be strong, not just for yourself but for your child as well.

If you have recently learnt that your child has or might have autism spectrum disorder (ASD), you are probably worrying about what comes next.

No parent is ever prepared to hear that a child is anything other than happy and healthy, and an ASD diagnosis can be particularly frightening. You may be unsure how to best help your child, or confused by conflicting treatment advice. Or, you may have been told that ASD is an incurable, lifelong condition, leaving you concerned that nothing you do will make a difference.

While ASD is not something a person simply “grows out of”, children can acquire new skills and overcome a wide variety of developmental challenges given the right support. With the right plan and a lot of love and support, your child can learn, grow and thrive.

Here’s how you can do that:

Learn about autism

The more you know about ASD, the better equipped you will be to make informed decisions for your child.

Educate yourself about the treatment options, ask questions and participate in all treatment decisions.

Become an expert on your child

Figure out what triggers your child’s challenging or disruptive behaviours and what elicits a positive response. What does your child find stressful or frightening, calming, uncomfortable and enjoyable?

If you understand what affects your child, you will be better at preventing or modifying situations that cause difficulties.

Accept your child, quirks and all

Rather than focusing on how your autistic child is different from other children and what they are “missing”, practise acceptance. Enjoy their special quirks, celebrate small successes and stop comparing your child to others.

Feeling unconditionally loved and accepted will help your child more than anything else.

Don’t give up

It is impossible to predict the course of ASD. Don’t jump to conclusions about what life is going to be like for your child.

Like everyone else, people with autism have an entire lifetime to grow and develop their abilities.

Be consistent

Children with ASD have a hard time applying what they have learnt in one setting (such as the therapist’s office or school) to others, including the home. For example, your child may use sign language at school to communicate but never think to do so at home.

Creating consistency in your child’s environment is the best way to reinforce learning.

Find out what your child’s therapists are doing and continue their techniques at home. Explore the possibility of having therapy take place in more than one place in order to encourage your child to transfer what they have learnt from one environment to another.

It’s also important to be consistent in the way you interact with your child and deal with challenging behaviour.

Stick to a schedule

Children with ASD tend to do best when they have a highly structured schedule or routine. Again, this goes back to the consistency they both need and crave. Set up a schedule for your child with regular times for meals, therapy, school and bedtime.

Try to keep disruptions to this routine to a minimum. If there is an unavoidable schedule change, prepare your child for it in advance.

Reward good behaviour

Positive reinforcement can go a long way with children with ASD, so make an effort to “catch them doing something good”. Praise them when they act appropriately or learn a new skill, being very specific about what behaviour they are being praised for.

Also look for other ways to reward them for good behaviour, such as giving them a sticker or letting them play with a favourite toy.

Create a home safety zone

Carve out a private space in your home where your child can relax, feel secure and be safe. This will involve organising and setting boundaries in ways your child can understand. Visual cues can be helpful (coloured tape marking areas that are off-limits, labelling items in the house with pictures).

You may also need to safety proof the house, particularly if your child is prone to tantrums or other self-injurious behaviour.

A good treatment plan will:

• Build on your child’s interests
• Offer a predictable schedule
• Teach tasks as a series of simple steps
• Actively engage your child’s attention in highly structured activities
• Provide regular reinforcement of behaviour
• Involve the parents

This article first appeared in The New Savvy.

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