Raising a child can be exhausting, physically, mentally and emotionally, but for many people the fulfilment of loving and raising a child cannot be measured.
Having an autistic child can seem overwhelming, but their parents will tell you the feeling of fulfilment is no different with a special needs child, though one needs to be strong, not just for oneself but for the child as well.
No parent is ever prepared to hear that their child is anything other than happy and healthy, and they can be overwhelmed by uncertainty and anxiety when they are told their child has autism spectrum disorder (ASD).
They are unsure about how to best help their child and conflicting treatment advice is confusing.
Parents are often told ASD is an incurable, lifelong condition, leaving them with the belief that there is nothing they can do that will make a difference.
While it is true ASD is not something a person simply “grows out of”, there are many therapies that can help children acquire new skills and overcome a wide variety of developmental challenges.
With the right treatment plan, and a lot of love and support, the child can learn, grow and thrive.
Here are some tips to help make the most of life with an autistic child:
Learn about autism. The more the parents know about ASD, the better equipped they will be to make informed decisions for their child.
Educate oneself about treatment and therapy options, ask questions and participate in all decisions.
Become an expert on one’s child. Figure out what triggers the child’s challenging or disruptive behaviours and what elicits a positive response.
What does the child find stressful or frightening? Calming? Uncomfortable? Enjoyable?
By understanding what affects the child, parents get better at preventing or modifying situations that can cause difficulties.
Accept the child, quirks and all. Rather than focusing on how one’s autistic child is different from other children and what they are “missing”, practise acceptance.
Enjoy their special quirks, celebrate small successes and stop comparing the child with others.
Feeling unconditional love and acceptance will help the child more than anything else.
Do not give up. It is impossible to predict the course of ASD. Do not jump to conclusions about what life will be like for the child.
Just like everyone else, people with autism have an entire lifetime to grow and develop their abilities.
Be consistent. Children with ASD have a hard time applying what they have learnt in one setting (such as the therapist’s office or school) to other settings, including the home.
For example, a child may use sign language at school to communicate but never think to do so at home. Creating consistency in the child’s environment is the best way to reinforce learning.
Continue with the techniques the therapist is using in the office at home. Look at having therapy take place in more than one place in order to encourage the child to transfer what they have learnt from one environment to another.
It is also important to be consistent in the way the family interacts with the child and deals with challenging behaviours.
Stick to a schedule. Children with ASD tend to do best when they have a highly structured schedule or routine. Again, this goes back to the consistency they need and crave.
Set up a schedule with regular times for meals, therapy, school and bedtime. Try to keep disruptions to this routine to a minimum. If there is an unavoidable schedule change, prepare the child for it in advance.
Reward good behaviour. Positive reinforcement can go a long way with children with ASD, so make an effort to “catch them doing something good”.
Praise them when they act appropriately or learn a new skill, being very specific about what behaviour they are being praised for.
Also look for other ways to reward them for good behaviour, such as giving them a sticker or letting them play with a favourite toy.
Create a home safety zone. Carve out a private space in the home where the child can relax, feel secure and be safe.
This will involve organising and setting boundaries in ways the child can understand. Visual cues can be helpful (coloured tape marking areas that are off-limits, labelling items in the house with pictures).
The house may need to be safety proofed, particularly if the child is prone to tantrums or other behaviours that they can hurt themselves.
A good treatment plan will:
- Build on the child’s interests
- Offer a predictable schedule
- Teach tasks as a series of simple steps
- Actively engage the child’s attention in highly structured activities
- Provide regular reinforcement of good behaviours
- Involve the parents
This article first appeared in The New Savvy
The New Savvy is Asia’s leading financial, investments and career platform for women. Our bold vision is to empower 100 million women to achieve financial happiness. We deliver high-quality content through conferences, e-learning platforms, personal finance apps and e-commerce stores.