But are they really the best placed to assess our emotional availability? According to an American study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, the answer is yes!
Researchers at Michigan State University (MSU) found this to be true after interviewing nearly 800 young adults embedded in circles of friends.
They asked them to assess their own readiness for relationships, their friends’ readiness, and their friends’ attachment styles.
They found that perceptions of friends align strongly with reality. In other words, if the people around you think you’re not ready for a serious relationship, there is a good chance they’re right.
According to the study authors, your ability to assess the emotional state of those close to you is based, in part, on the observation of their attachment styles.
Thus, people perceived as unwilling to commit often displayed insecure attachment, marked by high anxiety or a tendency to avoid romantic relationships.
“Friendships affect so many parts of our life – not just our health and happiness, but also our romantic prospects. Friends can constrain or facilitate who we date.
“They can also help our romantic relationships flourish or subtly and not-so-subtly undermine them. Judgments of readiness likely explain all sorts of reasons why friends help and hurt our chances of finding love,” explains William Chopik, an associate professor in MSU’s Department of Psychology and co-author of the study, quoted in a news release.
This study suggests that it could be wise to pay more attention to the advice of your friends when it comes to your love lives.
An honest, open discussion with friends could help you better understand your own inhibitions and approach your relationships with more clarity.
“Friends play a key role in forming and maintaining romantic relationships, from introductions to advice. However, there is rarely a chance to know how they perceive us,” says Hyewon Yang, a psychology doctoral candidate at MSU and study co-author.
So, if your friends think you’re not yet ready to commit, it might be a good idea to listen to your friends carefully. Their outside perspective, free from personal interests, can offer a valuable insight into your approach to romantic relationships.
After all, friendship is based on sincere connections, without hierarchy or pressure, which makes the advice of friends all the more valuable.
This Valentine’s Day, why not take advantage of their observations to better understand your own expectations in love? But keep in mind that, whatever their advice, the final decision is always yours.