Yet, due to stigma, many hide their mental health condition for fear of being labelled crazy, weak-willed or less productive at work.
Admittedly, few would consider writing a book about their depression. But Dayana Sobri did.
In her debut book titled “Torn Between Desires: Exploring the Depths of Mental Health and Compulsive Shopping,” Dayana, 35, shares her struggles with depression and anxiety, recounting how it led to a shopping addiction that eventually landed her in debt.
Launched on Nov 16 at Gerakbudaya, Dayana offers readers insights into her personal life, including the trauma of being sexually assaulted, the first time when she was only eight years old.
Even before she turned 12, Dayana had been contemplating suicide. Later, she even attempted taking her life. To cope with her anxiety and depression, she turned to shopping, an activity that soon spiralled out of control.
In her book, Dayana punctuates these heavy topics with humour, putting readers at ease as she delves into the dark world of one struggling with their mental health.
“Writing was definitely therapeutic. By sharing my story, I hope it can help others,” she told FMT Lifestyle.
“Although I have a quiet personality, when it comes to this issue, I want to be as loud as possible,” the author, who works as a copywriter, said.
She revealed that purchasing a pre-loved designer dress for RM700 in 2022 was the wake-up call she needed to make a drastic change. “I can pay so many bills with RM700. That’s when I realised: ‘I have a problem. I need to fix this.’”
By then, she had amounted RM13,000 in credit card debts from purchasing items without her husband’s knowledge, a form of “financial infidelity,” she said.
Since then, Dayana has sought assistance from the Credit Counselling and Debt Management Agency (AKPK).
“Sometimes, I occasionally slip by buying something. But it’s not as bad as before. With self-discipline, my husband’s support and the AKPK programme, I am managing to find a balance.”
These days, she added, when she feels the urge to shop, she plays video games or devotes time to the several side businesses she runs with her husband.
She has also participated in clothes-swapping events, and said that by exchanging clothes with others, she doesn’t have to fork out money for new ones.
During the forum at her book launch, panellist Anasuya Jegathevi Jegathesan shed light on Dayana’s addiction. “When she wanted to handle the depression, she turned to shopping because it gave her a dopamine boost. Initially, it stopped her from turning to self-harm or suicide.
“But when shopping went out of control and became an addiction, what was once a ‘helper,’ turned into a ‘monster,’” said Anasuya, dean of the faculty of psychology and social sciences at the University of Cyberjaya.
At this point, Anasuya added, people tend to blame themselves, without recognising that the “monster” was once a “helper.”
“That’s the sad part of mental health: those suffering with issues tend to see themselves from a harsh perspective. They don’t recognise the strength it took to survive,” Anasuya said, commending Dayana for taking steps to get better.
Today, Dayana attends regular therapy sessions and is on medication. “I used to be sceptical about therapy, but once I went for it, I was glad I did. It helped save my life.”
Through her book, Dayana hopes to help others battling mental health issues. “I want people like me to know that they are not alone, and they can seek help. There’s hope.”
‘Torn Between Desires: Exploring the Depths of Mental Health and Compulsive Shopping’ is priced at RM35, and is available on Gerakbudaya’s online store and physical store.