“You better watch out, you better not cry, you better not pout, I’m telling you why. Santa Claus is coming to town!” goes the famous Christmas song.
But this time, St Nicholas of Myra has a whole new vibe. Gone is the jolly belly, and instead, he’s rocking a chiselled physique that would make any gym bro jealous. His bushy white beard? Let’s just say it’s more “hot old man” than “ho-ho-ho.”
In “Red One,” Jake Kasdan’s latest holiday adventure, JK Simmons steps in as Santa with a twist, alongside Dwayne Johnson as Callum Drift, Santa’s centuries-old bodyguard.
The film gives a fresh, action-packed spin to the Santa Claus myth, pulling inspiration from a mix of Yuletide legends – like the fearsome Christmas demon Krampus from Central European folklore, and Iceland’s Christmas ogress, Gryla.
Indeed, the world-building is surprisingly elaborate for a Santa film, and Kasdan’s effort to reimagine this familiar lore for a post-MCU audience deserves a pat on the shoulder.
But is the mix of pure entertainment, eye-catching visuals, and a “reinvent the Christmas movie wheel that nobody asked for” approach, enough to make “Red One” a yearly holiday favourite?
The film follows Drift and Jack O’Malley (Chris Evans) as they form an unlikely team, hopping through toy store portals around the world to rescue Santa, who’s been abducted just days before Christmas.
With Santa missing, the holiday spirit is in full-blown panic mode as Drift, O’Malley, and Zoe Harlow (Lucy Liu), head of the Mythological Oversight and Restoration Authority (MORA), race to save the day.
Together, they battle the Christmas Witch Gryla (played by “Chilling Adventures of Sabrina’s” Kiernan Shipka), shapeshifting assassins, and ancient dark magic – all in a last-ditch effort to save Christmas.
On the Good List, this film takes audiences on a fun, 123-minute ride that keeps you entertained from start to finish. With a bucket of popcorn and a cold drink, all you need to do is lean back, relax, and enjoy a mindlessly fun holiday flick. Sometimes, it’s nice to just switch off and watch.
The CGI and prosthetics, especially for Krampus, along with the action sequences, are a jolly treat. And if you’re a fan of myths and legends, the film’s mythological elements will definitely pique your interest.
Conversely, on the Naughty List, “Red One” is packed with annoyingly clichéd, uninspired, and downright dull jokes. The actors deliver these lines with such seriousness, as if they’re delivering the most dramatic monologue ever – but instead of laughs, the result is mostly cringes.
Another disappointment is the one-dimensional roles given to Evans and Liu, both talented comedic actors. Johnson’s style of humour and one-liners are expected, but seeing Evans and Liu trapped in shallow roles feels like a Christmas nightmare.
The most Grinch-like flaw, though, is how the film lacks the heart you’d expect from a Christmas story. “Red One” briefly touches on the idea that inside every “naughty” adult is a child waiting to be seen and heard – a theme that could have added real depth.
Had the film leaned into this concept, it might have delivered the warmth of a cup of hot chocolate. Instead, this poignant idea was brushed aside in favour of special effects, action scenes, and stiffly delivered jokes.
Overall, “Red One” feels like a beautifully wrapped Christmas gift – flashy paper, a shiny ribbon, and a cheerful holiday greeting. It’s all aesthetically pleasing, promising something exciting inside.
But once you unwrap it, you might be disappointed to find a rather uninspiring, “meh” gift within. If Santa was real, he might give “Red One” a Code Blue.
‘Red One’ is screening in cinemas nationwide.