And with the release of “The Crow” this year, their reputation is probably going to suffer even more. Poor birds: not only are they always associated with death, it looks like their name will now be always connected to a tedious, over-the-top Gothic blockbuster.
“The Crow” tells the tale of Eric Draven (Bill Skarsgard), a troubled kid who meets the alluring Shelly (FKA Twigs) at a rehab centre. Shelley is hiding from Roeg (Danny Huston), a local crime lord, as she has a video implicating him for some crimes.
As expected, Eric and Shelly fall for each other, and escape the rehab centre. They hide out (very conveniently) at Shelly’s rich friend’s house, and for a while, things are good. Roeg eventually catches up with them however, and kills them both.
Eric finds himself in a mysterious underworld, where the enigmatic Kronos (Sami Bouajila) reveals he has the chance to save Shelly. Revived by a crow, and now sporting dark powers (and equally dark makeup), Eric goes off to seek revenge on Roeg.
On paper, this story sounds promising: on screen, it all falls apart. What’s most amazing about “The Crow” is how a film with so much bloody violence and supernatural magic can still be so dull.
For those not in the know, this film is a reboot of “The Crow” series, which comprises four films and a television series. The first Crow, released in 1994, is a cult horror classic: part of its fame is also because it was the last film of actor Brandon Lee (son of Bruce Lee), who was fatally wounded on set by a prop gun.
This new version of “The Crow” suffers from a forgettable story, and an overly serious tone. There’s hardly any fun to be had in this brood-fest of a film, whether for its actors or its audience.
This Rupert Sanders-directed film builds a tense, noir-esque atmosphere through dark and brooding visuals. This is nice but has been done to death (pun definitely intended) in other films. Its soundtrack also doesn’t work: many of its over dramatic emo tunes just clash with the action on-screen.
A lot of the problem comes from the romance between Eric and Shelly, which is supposed to be an epic romance that defies even death.
The actors, however, have little chemistry, and their supposedly incredible bond is illustrated through over-the-top “romantic” scenes that feel like they were taken from a cheesy MTV music video.
The cast members do their best, but their characters are too one-dimensional to really shine. Both Huston and FKA Twigs are wasted in their roles. And Skarsgard tries, but he was much scarier as the villain of “It.” Indeed, his character here feels a lot like Pennywise trying to be John Wick.
The film picks up a little at a major fight scene, but by that time, it’s too little, too late. You know things are bad when there is a shootout at an opera house, and you are more entertained by the opera scenes than the actual shootout.
Things build up to a dreary whimper of a climax, and then to a highly predictable final plot twist, before “The Crow” finally ends.
If you really want to watch a movie about an unkillable man violently ploughing his way through hordes of henchmen, go watch “Deadpool & Wolverine” instead. At least there, the leads have charisma.
Perhaps the cleverest part of “The Crow” is that while literally going to Hell becomes a story element of this film, this is hardly depicted on-screen. Instead, the audience is invited to experience hell for themselves, through suffering all 111 minutes of this film’s tedious plot.
Overall, this new iteration of a cult classic really fails to soar. The only people who might enjoy this are broody teenage Goths, who could find the film’s moody aesthetic somewhat appealing. Otherwise, this is quite a slog to sit through. Someone call DBKL, this Crow needs to be shot.
The Crow opens in cinemas nationwide on Aug 29.