It’s no secret that screens have become formidable enemies of people’s attention spans: their presence often monopolises interactions, even during precious moments with friends and loved ones. But what about the impact on romantic relationships?

According to marriage and family counselor Tracy Ross, interviewed by HuffPost US, “parallel scrolling” – that is, silently scrolling on your phone while in bed next to your partner who’s doing the same – could ruin relationships. Indeed, phubbing – ignoring people physically present by looking at your phone rather than interacting with them – and parallel scrolling are scourges for many couples in today’s society.

In 2017, research by Baylor University in Texas, surveyed 143 people involved in a romantic relationship and found that 70% of participants said mobile phones interfered with their interaction with a romantic part “sometimes”, “often”, “very often” or “all the time”.

“You’re basically decreasing the chances of intimacy and affection, or just generally engaging with your partner,” Tracy Ros told HuffPost. “Connection is critical for a strong relationship, and it needs to happen regularly, without fail, for a couple to thrive.”

For example, lying in bed with your partner at the end of the day is a crucial moment for reconnecting with each other. But as it turns out, many couples neglect this shared moment of closeness and intimacy: Ross says her patients often complain their partner is “constantly on their phone” or seems “distracted”, which makes it difficult to get their attention and, in turn, can increase the chances of a breakup.

Nevertheless, Aimee Hartstein, a psychotherapist also contacted by HuffPost, admits it might be unrealistic to expect couples to steer clear of screens for an entire evening.

“Like it or not, phones are here to stay, and it’s an unusual couple who will put them away for the entire night,” she noted. In fact, the smartphone has become essential for getting information and interacting with other loved ones.

So how can we remedy this potentially damaging habit, which is so deeply rooted in our daily lives? Firstly, try to understand the reasons why you or your partner use your phone in each other’s presence.

“Ask yourself if you are using the phone to avoid your partner – and if so, what could that be about,” Ross suggested. “Habits tend to stick, and unless we actively try to change them, they persevere.”

If scrolling encroaches considerably on your life as a couple, you can discuss this with your partner and set screentime limits. For example, you could avoid using the phone at bedtime or at dinner.

You could also try a digital detox by giving up digital devices for a day or several days, depending on your needs and abilities.