Words can be used to explore intimacy, to express desire, and also to define a relationship. It is through language that flirting begins, often through the written word if lovers start their romance on a dating website.
But how can words be used to describe practices that are constantly evolving and redefining themselves?
The dating site Happn, together with sex therapist Léa from the Instagram account @mercibeaucul_, have identified five words that will set the tone for the language of love this year.
1. ‘Breadcrumbing: the toxic flirt
This love lexicon kicks off with a trend that can make many people suffer. Known as breadcrumbing, it basically involves throwing a love interest “crumbs” of attention to keep them hanging on.
On social networks, this might be a simple reaction to a story or post, with an emoji or a simple “hi, how are you?”.
It is about “giving enough attention to your target to maintain interest, without ever going further”, Léa summarises.
2. Zombieing: the (unwelcome) return of the ex
The good ones always get away – but in the case of Zombieing, it’s the worst ones who come back. Here, a former date or hookup comes back out of the blue as if nothing ever happened, after having previously disappeared with no explanation.
“It is with the most nerve in the world, and without any excuse, that they come over all ‘Walking Dead’ to see if any negotiation is still possible,” the sex therapist says.
So how should you react? Here, you can allow yourself to “ghost” them: rename the contact “do not answer” and block them completely.
3. ‘The P Spot’: one for the guys
“The P-spot is a tactical area for people with a penis,” Léa says. “It corresponds to the place where you can stimulate the prostate.”
So how do you do it? With skilled use of one or more fingers, which can unlock orgasms from a whole new dimension, the sexpert claims.
4. ‘Mindful sex’: reconnecting with the moment
Sharing the moment in full consciousness, mindful sex allows you “to reconnect with your body, the present moment and your partner, if it is practised as a couple”.
It is about “forgetting the search for the fastest route to orgasm, taking your time and being in tune with every sensation”, according to the Instagrammer.
5. ‘Edging’: for heightened pleasure
This is about taking your time to heighten pleasure. Edging involves measuring the degree of arousal to postpone orgasm and, thus, increase its intensity.
To put this into practice, simply define a scale to measure your level of arousal – for instance from 1 to 10, the maximum score referring to ultimate pleasure.
When the sensation approaches 8 or 9, stimulation should be slowed down to lower the score and arousal. It may be an arduous task but, if you take Léa’s word for it, it’s well worth the effort.