While anticipating your bundle of joy can be a memorable time in your life and often times even romantic, it is also filled with swollen feet, nausea, excruciating backache and growing irritability at how your body is ballooning into “Blimp” proportions.
Local author Haemala Thanasegaran got the idea to write the book “What our mothers could have told us” after the surprise (and shock) at being told by her doctor that she was going to have not one baby but triplets.
The book was inspired by her love of motherhood along with all its “pleasures and pitfalls”, and serves as a chronicle of her journey, for her own children to read and learn from when they’re old enough.
Besides her own kids, she says she hopes the book will resonate with mothers and act as a form of validation about their fears, frustrations, hopes and achievements, no matter how small.
Speaking to FMT, Ipoh-born Haemala talked of her own unpreparedness of certain aspects of motherhood. “It would have been good to have some perspective on this and how the nature of motherhood would change and evolve as the kids grew; and how, it’s important to not lose sight of who you are as a person and try to take some time out to recharge and also spend time with your spouse, whilst you focus on raising your kids.”
For Haemala, being a mother of three all at once left her somewhat shell-shocked as she was also working on her doctorate at the time.
She writes of the frenzy and anxiety of coordinating the babies’ nap times with her thesis work, a monumental task in itself which often left her caught in waves of either outright panic and grateful relief.
Still, she does acknowledge the humour of her experiences and writes about motherhood not with bitterness or anger but remarkable honesty and love.
Her only grouse what that her mother did not tell her of the intense physical and emotional changes that motherhood was capable of unleashing on the unsuspecting.
“My relationship with my parents has always been good. My dad was very strict and that made my teens a bit difficult.
“But he mellowed as we both got older and I love them both to bits and wouldn’t change a thing about my childhood. It’s made me who I am which I believe is grounded,” she said.
A trained lawyer, Haemala considers juggling the demands of being a mother to triplets while completing her PhD in law one of her biggest personal successes.
She says she hopes parents out there can take a step back and adopt a more “this too shall pass” mindset when dealing with absolute chaos in the home.
Overall the book, “What our mothers could have told us” is an enjoyable read for those looking for validation and comfort in the words of another high-strung, but loving parent.
The book also stresses that there is no one-size-fits-all technique for parenting, and therefore various approaches must be adopted to address various personalities. Ultimately, the book serves as a practical parenting guide and a humorous, honest tell-all about the joys and trials of motherhood.