What talking you?: Totally ‘koyak’ English signs in Malaysia

The English language is an unruly Western expat in Malaysia – chronically roaring drunk; embarrassingly underdressed (in terrifyingly-mismatched batik sportswear); boorishly loud (dugongs and tapirs flee when they approach); and perpetually rule-transgressing (because laws were meant to be “breaked”).

Although its presence in the country is limited and fast-diminishing (it’s now only occasionally heard babbling nonsensically in private sector workplaces and Starbucks outlets), it still has the power to make its alarming presence widely known, in the most unwelcome, the Apocalypse-will-soon-be-upon-us way imaginable.

Selfies of the English language lewdly cavorting across Malaysia bedevil all major social media platforms and often give straitlaced netizens cardiac arrest, but none has, as yet, caused a mountaintop earthquake.

Below is a tragic album of both candid and posed shots of the English tongue – smuggled in primarily from Engrish.com, WorldOfBuzz.com and Facebook – casually contaminating the Malaysian landscape:

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