Black metal music

Though it’s commonplace to stumble across black metal band CDs (what are those, grandpa?) while excitedly rummaging for Justin Bieber recordings (when will SHE be banned?) in local music stores; or overhear the wails of fatally-constipated vocalists in underground music venues or very ‘gangsta’ mamak restaurants, the ban on cancer-causing black metal music instituted by the National Fatwa Council in 2006 is still very much in place. (Initially applicable only to Muslims, the prohibition seems to have mutated into a blanket prohibition, as evidenced by the summary 11th-hour cancellation of Lamb of God’s KL concert in 2013, which left non-Muslim fans high, dry and asking ‘why?’).

Professional female bodybuilding
Local women bodybuilders were confronted with a challenge beyond their strength to power lift in 1988, when competitive female bodybuilding and training were officially banned. The sport was deemed “unsuitable” for the “gentler sex” (Gentler? Let me introduce you to my mother!). As a result, kick-a** ladies like Penang-born Lilian Tan had to leave Malaysia to train and compete – and ended up taruh-ing every medal in her path, including gold at the World Bodybuilding Championship. TWICE.

Mighty Morphin Power Rangers

The epidemically-popular superhero TV series was flying-kicked off the air in 1995 when local authorities ‘overdosed’ on their fear that it was a bad influence to its juvenile audience. The spectacular physical violence wasn’t the issue – it was the word ‘Morphin’, which sounded too much like ‘morphine’, which in itself, it was feared, would drive small children to scramble for their nearest illicit drug dealer. (‘Morphin’ was a reference to how the Rangers magically morphed between their boring human selves and their almighty RuPaul’s Drag Race contestant personas). The show was finally allowed back on air when its studio agreed to drop the offending word (proving that if anybody was ‘on’ anything, it wasn’t the Power Rangers…).

Yellow Bersih t-shirts
Admittedly not the most fashion forward of garments (its cut does nothing for the figure, and canary yellow is so 2005), the iconic, eye-blindingly-yellow Bersih t-shirt was in and of itself banned by the Malaysian High Court in 2011, 2012 and again last year (Anna Wintour would be proud). Declaring the shirt a “national security threat”, authorities warned Malaysians against modeling the offending polo in public and threatened those who did with arrest – thus giving new heft to the previously-frivolous, celebrity red carpet term “fashion police”.

Live performances by international artistes
From Megadeth and Chicago (Chicago?!), to Beyoncé and Kesha (well, maybe Kesha) – Malaysia has proudly shooed away an illustrious list of foreign acts from the local spotlight. For the gory details, read our article “Curtains! Top cancelled concerts in Malaysian history”.

Israelis (yeah, THEM!)

We glory in hosting prestigious world events, but we balk at actually hosting the world. Our “have our cake and eat it too” mentality has been on glorious, international display over the past few months as competitors from you-know-where were denied visas to the Youth Sailing World Championships, followed by their compatriots being forced to withdraw from the World Team Table Tennis Championships due to local authorities’ shilly-shallying (even if they had been allowed to compete, their national anthem – you know, the one about manipulating the world and eating babies – and flag would have been banned from both meets). Oy vey!

Blue jeans and armpits in ads
You may not have noticed it, but until recently, the Malaysian Advertising Code classified blue jeans as taboo (creative minds behind the ban had imaginatively linked blue denim with the 1970s Western hippie counterculture and its criminal embrace of free love and recreational drug use – true story!) Still a no-no though are armpits, male or female, shaved or heavily forested – which is why underarm deodorant ads feature tragically armpit-less talents. As for international commercials banned outright on local TV, the most notorious was Brad Pitt’s 2002 Toyota Altis spot, which our Deputy Information Minister at the time denounced as having the insidious power to “plant a sense of inferiority among Asians”. (*Facepalm*)

Non-Muslims using ‘Allah’ to refer to God

Following a Bollywood-esque tussle with the local Catholic Church, Malaysia became the only country in the world – including among our 56 fellow OIC member states – to expressly forbid non-Muslims (specifically, Christians) from using the word ‘Allah’ to refer to God. (A dubious distinction, but it’s something…)

Names for babies
An outbreak of bizarre names inflicting themselves on innocent infants in 2006 led Malaysia’s National Registration Department to slap emergency restrictions on what intoxicated parents could name their offspring. Malaysian babies are now no longer allowed to be named after fruits, vegetables (oh, cute Kangkung!), animals, colours or insects. Monikers inspired by demons, evil spirits, numbers, Japanese cars (why Japanese in particular?) and royal or honorary names (for us plebeians) are also forbidden.

Movies
From ‘Bruce Almighty’ and ‘Schindler’s List’ (did you Nazi this coming?), to ‘Zoolander’ and ‘Babe’ (the ‘pig’ of the litter) – rattling off the titles of motion pictures banned in Malaysia takes longer than sleeping through the entirety of a Bergman film. For a comprehensive list of major movies Oskar Schindler wasn’t able to save from local censors, read our article “They’re a no-show: Major movies banned in Malaysia”.

Yoga for Muslims

Though it was largely ignored by Muslim enthusiasts who continued to hold their ‘Feathered Peacock’, ‘Downward-facing Dog’ and ‘Half Lord of the Fishes’ poses, yoga was officially banned for Muslims by the National Fatwa Council in 2008. Following a massive backlash from the public, members of the government and even royalty, the ban was kinda-sorta lifted, with the proviso that practitioners refrain from incorporating Sanskrit chants in their pretzel-impersonating routine.

Instant Café Theatre
Satire pioneer and performing arts institution Instant Café Theatre (ICT), led by the deliciously bonkers Jo Kukathas, was booed offstage, fined and briefly banned in 2003 by KL City Hall, which had demanded that the outfit remove all references to government policies, agencies and officials in their act. Being bada**es of honey badger proportions, ICT paid them absolutely no heed. (Talk to the wrist ‘cause the hand ain’t listening). The ensemble marks its 27th anniversary this year, all limbs and digits still accounted for.

Alcohol

Books
A list of books NOT banned by either the Home Ministry or the Islamic Religious Department would make for a much shorter read than one cataloguing those which are. Nevertheless, publications which made it to the top of the “forbidden reading material” list in recent years and created their own share of page-turning drama include the Malay-translated version of Charles Darwin’s lascivious bodice ripper, ‘Origin of Species’; communist manifesto-cum Japanese comic ‘Ultraman: The Ultra Power”; Karen Armstrong’s light read “Islam: A Short History”; and Irshad Manji’s haiku anthology “Allah, Liberty and Love”, the banning of which saw no love for a hapless Borders bookstore manager, who was raked over the coals ‘because of reasons’.

Honourable mentions:

Vaping – After much public handwringing, the 1st of this year saw the e-cigarette being ‘unfriended’ by Terengganu, Kelantan, Kedah, Johor and Negeri Sembilan (it’s also on rocky terms with Perak).

Women looking and acting like men – In 2008, the National Fatwa Council issued an edict against “tomboyish behavior”, which included women “sporting short hair, and dressing, acting or walking like boys”. (*Facepalm #2*)

Shia Islam – Although Shiites have existed for centuries and make up almost 20% of all Muslims, and Malaysians are (allegedly) free to practice myriad faiths, Shia Islam is banned in the country. Shiites face discrimination in most communities in which they are a religious minority, but Malaysia is thought to be the only nation in the world where the denomination is a no-can-do.

Luggage on long-haul flights – For reasons the aviation industry and passengers are still scratching their heads over, Malaysia Airlines banned checked luggage on flights to Europe for two days in January this year. (We know you want to start over without the ‘baggage’ of recent events, MAS, but really!)

Foreign individuals (over the past year)
Stay off my lawn!: Hong Kong ‘Umbrella Movement’ student activist Joshua Wong; Australian Al Jazeera journalist Mary Ann Jolley; Indonesian human rights activist Mugiyanto Sipin (post Bersih 4.0); Sarawak Report founder Clare Rewcastle-Brown and many, many, many, many, many, many more!

Valentine’s Day and Halloween for Muslims
The National Fatwa Council’s edict against Muslims celebrating Valentine’s Day was issued in 2005 (almost 100 canoodling couples have been arrested each 14th February since); while the ban on Halloween was delivered (as neither trick nor treat) as recently as 2014.