Fish that can’t swim (even the backstroke or doggy paddle) will be laughed out of the ocean (or aquarium) – which is why some guy in the UK went to extreme measures to help his pet fish regain his swag.

The swim-challenged fish in question – named Einstein – has been fitted with a lifejacket, not to keep him from drowning, of course, but to ensure his self-esteem remains afloat. Einstein had apparently been a healthy fish – he was even learning to do tricks, according to his owner – when he was struck with an illness that affected his swim bladder, making it impossible for him to part the waters like a boss.

Once stricken, Einstein began to simply turn upside down and sink to the bottom of his tank. “He would be on the bottom, stuck on his side, and couldn’t go any further. He just looked depressed, the poor fish. I was heartbroken. I thought I’m going to have to do something about this,” his owner, Leonard Naylor, recounts (one imagines tearfully).

Unable to watch his fish suffer the indignity of being floor-bound, the hooman used recycled tubing to create a buoyancy aid, making it possible for little Einstein to swim around the tank instead of sinking to the bottom. (Sure he can swim now, but LOOK at him! He’s still going to get beaten up!)

“People have said I’m crazy, but every animal is a valued family member. I’ve tried to train all of my fish, but Einstein’s my star pupil. He can swim through my fingers and he was getting into fish football when he fell sick,” Naylor says.

Dude – dorky fish named ‘Einstein’ don’t play sports.

Based on an article published in the world’s first meat-free lifestyle platform, KindMeal.my