1. Infantino is more Trump than Mandela

He wanted to sound like Nelson Mandela but was more like Donald Trump.

It was his pre-tournament keynote speech and Fifa president Gianni Infantino was determined to set the tone.

He tried to be statesmanlike before this controversial World Cup kicked off. All things to all men, type of thing.

But in a rambling hour-plus monologue he turned it from being about mankind to being about “me, me, me”.

Some said it was intended to be a tribute act to Martin Luther King; if so, he didn’t have a dream – just a nightmare.

The assembled press couldn’t believe what they were hearing.

Here’s a sample: “Today I feel Qatari. Today I feel Arabic. Today I feel African. Today I feel gay. Today I feel disabled. Today I feel (like) a migrant worker.”

He hardly mentioned football. If he wanted to be remembered, he succeeded – it goes down as one of the great narcissistic rants of all time.

Trump couldn’t have done it better.

2. Opening night of two halves

The first half was a glitzy ceremony with lots of sound and light and inspiring words from Morgan Freeman.

The message in the tent-like Al Bayt stadium on the edge of the desert was about mankind living “under one tent”.

It sounded a bit rich when you recalled the controversies.

Then the football kicked off. In 92 years, the hosts had never lost the opening game – until now.

Out of their depth against minnows Ecuador, Qatar pulled off another first.

Losing 2-0 was bad enough, but at half-time, the glittering, packed stadium emptied.

Local fans were unable to take the humiliation.

In doing so, they showed their ignorance of the game and exposed the claim this was a football nation as a sham.

It was cringeworthy for the watching VVIPs including Fifa boss Gianni Infantino and Saudi leader Mohammed bin Salman.

Qatar did manage to score in their second game but became the first host country to bow out without winning a game.

Many labelled the hosts the worst team in the history of the tournament.

3. Argentines taunt defeated Dutch

It’s customary for the victors of a penalty shoot-out to console the vanquished. Even at local levels.

A lone sliver of sportsmanship that has survived football’s defenestration in almost every other area.

For players know what their foes have been through – nothing compares to the raw emotions felt in this brutal climax.

But sportsmanship and Argentina have rarely been on the same page.

And when Lionel Messi’s men eventually knocked out a defiant Dutch side in an epic quarter-final on penalties, they were at it again.

The pictures need no elaboration. One or two players did “explain” that the Dutch had tried to put off the Argentines during the shoot-out.

A bit rich when Albiceleste keeper Emi Martinez is the master of such antics as well as being a brilliant shot-stopper.

It left a sour taste after a wonderful two hours of football.

4. Revenge is sweet – even in defeat

Ghana v Uruguay was a battle that had been brewing for 12 years.

Ever since Luis Suarez handled on the line to prevent Ghana from becoming the first African nation to reach the semi-finals.

Still bitter, the Ghanaians dubbed the ex-Liverpool star “the devil” – and took the hindmost.

When it came to the deciding games of Group H, Uruguay were banking on Portugal at least holding South Korea to advance in second place.

Despite feeling that the world – and an erratic German referee – was against them, they looked to have made it when leading 2-0.

But a last-minute South Korean winner left them needing one more goal.

Edinson Cavani went down in the area for what looked a nailed-on penalty. The referee didn’t give it.

When VAR didn’t review it, Uruguay lost the plot.

The whistle went, they were out. Cavani raged, knocking over the unused VAR monitor. Suarez cried – floods of tears.

To the small South American nation of over-achievers, it felt like a stitch-up. A mob surrounded the referee.

It also highlighted the stupidity of having VAR when it’s not used.

Although Ghana had been knocked out, they saw the funny side: laughing at their victors.

It was a bad night for football – undignified, unsporting but understandable.

5. Hail Ronaldo, undisputed king of prima donnas!

It’s hard to think of any single player who’s had a worse World Cup than CR7.

Or tarnished his reputation at club and country more calamitously.

No sooner had the infamous Piers Morgan interview destroyed his reputation at Manchester United than he delivered a follow-up.

Sulking, pouting, not passing, not scoring and eventually not playing, he’s done similar with Portugal.

And when manager Fernando Santos followed United’s lead, and dropped him, Portugal improved – just as the Devils had.

It was clear he was as unpopular in his country’s dressing room as he had been in his club’s.

And when Morocco beat them, he stomped off, without even acknowledging his teammates let alone opponents.

A leader of men?

He’d be an outcast in kindergarten.

As eternal rival Lionel Messi strides on, Ronaldo has sulked and preened without even the redeeming feature of a performance on the field.

But there’s one trophy that will be hard to wrest from him – he’s the undisputed king of prima donnas.